#772: Sneezedry

Rather than cart about a wind-sensitive umbrella, today’s invention is a low-hassle alternative.

When being rained on, one’s coat could start to shake itself, just like a longhaired dog. This sneeze-like shaking might be driven by a number of synchronised mobile phone-type oscillators attached inside the garment.

These could be coordinated so as to create waves of oscillation and thus shed moisture most effectively. People would soon get used to the apparent all-over body tremor effect, especially if it only occurred on wet days.

#771: Trapole

Its a cliché of course that Inventors find themselves, when not in search of perpetual motion or antigravity, looking to build a better mousetrap. On this general theme, Rattus Norvegicus makes the mistake of attempting to dine at the expense of Homo Sapiens -to literally eat our lunch. The United States has an estimated 1.25 billion rats, causing at least US$19 billion dollars worth of damage each year (there are ten rats born for every Human).

There is therefore a need to 1) attract, 2) ‘neutralise’ the rat, 3) clear the trap and 4) reset the process. We’d want to ensure, for reasons of both ethics and effectiveness, that every animal was swiftly killed and not just disabled. Similarly, we need to avoid having animals crawl off and die elsewhere, causing a serious bad smell.

Today’s invention is to place some bait at the top of a hollow pole. Air currents waft the delicious aroma to ground level. The rat climbs up the inside of the pole (which has a textured interior), eventually reaching the baited platform at the top, which is held in place by a magnetic catch. Once the rat’s weight overcomes this support force, the platform suddenly flips through 180degrees, dumping the rat onto a hard, sloped surface on the ground which also deflects the bodies into a waiting hopper. To ensure fatality, this would need a 10m tall pole (based on a simple energy-to-kill criterion), but it could be disguised as a flagpole and located in a fenced-off corner of any infested premises.

(A version of this idea first appeared here.)

#770: Totalift

Traveling in a tall building’s lift the other day I scrutinised the control buttons and was surprised to find that the most worn ones were those for some of the uppermost floors.

If most people are going there, surely it makes energetic sense for the people seeing the most traffic to be located on the lowermost floors?

Today’s invention is a lift control pad which has only the names of companies or departments on it (ie no floor numbers). People press for their destination department and the pad counts the number of journeys to each.

It then reallocates floorspace in the building on a yearly basis -according to the frequency with which departments/companies have been visited. The most visited get positions nearer ground level (and a rental charge which better reflects their use of the building’s resources).

This requires an annual reordering of the building’s occupants but probably by no more than one floor -until a state of equilibrium is reached. Initial movements might serve as a useful organisational shakeup, as well as a cost readjustment mechanism).

See this article for some fascinating insights into liftshaft lore.

#769: Indiscator

Movie DVDs will soon be replaced by other formats recorded on other media. Until that happens, I’ll continue to be annoyed by boxed sets of discs which which make it really difficult to keep a record of which episode of The Sporano’s seven year run or David Attenborough’s jungle adventures we watched last week.

Today’s invention is a simple recording mechanism built into the media packaging.

Each disk comes in a plastic case (the mechanics of these is awful but I won’t deal with that now). Opening the case would reveal a clock-like set of markers arrayed circumferentially around where the edge of the disc lies. There would be one gradation for each episode on a disc (minor markers could stand for specific timings, if you have a fancy player which can track there accurately).

When you’ve watched an episode, simply put the disc back in the case with the arrow prominently provided on the disc pointing at the gradation on the case corresponding to the next episode to be viewed.

#768: Lifepipe

Wherever there are crowds, there is the danger of crush-related injuries. Today’s invention is a simple and low cost way to reduce this problem.

In public spaces a tall, cylindrical dispenser would be provided with a smash-to-open aperture at a convenient height. In the event that people were being squeezed by overcrowding in such a space, sections of thick-walled pipe could be quickly extracted by anyone within reach (each perhaps 20cm in diameter and 30 cm long).

These would be rolled and kicked along the ground between the legs of the unfortunate crowd members, allowing a sub population of people to stand on them and lever their heads and shoulders clear of the others. This reduction in pressure between people would ease conditions for everyone and avert the immediate danger of suffocation, trampling and crush injury, until a way to disperse the crowd was achieved.

#767: Strapeze

It’s always a pain when someone gets in your car who can’t find the seatbelt attachments or who has difficulty engaging the buckle in the catch mechanism. This is true of eg children or people who find it hard to bend over to see where the various attachments need to go.

Today’s invention is therefore an aftermarket attachment which overcomes these problems.

The seatbelt clip is engaged permanently in the catch device. A crescent-shaped guide (shown in pink) fits under both of the straps and is raised by the driver pulling on a strap which runs over a pulley attached to the vehicle ceiling (not shown) and down the back of the passenger seat.

The crescent guide is then high enough for anyone to sit in the passenger seat without needing to touch any belts. The driver can then lower the crescent, so that the seatbelt drops into the correct position and the standard tensioner makes it fit snugly around the passenger.

#766: Watchglasses

Very small digital watches are available at almost no cost.

Today’s invention is a clip-on version of such a watch which is designed to attach discreetly to one’s spectacle lens and thus provide a readable indication of the time, just by glancing upwards and without having to wear a wristwatch.

It might be possible to exploit experimental psychology findings and place the watch display at the location in the visual field to which people naturally attend when thinking about ‘time’.

#765: SeatSense

Today’s invention is a set of pressure sensors which are installed in the feet or casters of an office chair.

These can be used to to pass information to a desktop computer and thus detect whether and for how long the occupant has been seated, their fidgeting or immobility, if they are perched on the edge of their seat and the straightness of their posture. It might even record such data over time and monitor weight and other longer-term changes.

The user’s machine can then issue health-related suggestions, via the screen, such as:

“time for a break?”,”maybe sit up straighter?”,”don’t lean back so far”,”you seem agitated, try herbal tea, not coffee?” etc.

#764: Liftlimiter

There are very, very few occasions when the use of a firearm is going to create a solution. If however obviously bad people are attacking definitely good people, then I want the innocent parties defended as accurately as possible by eg a police marksman.

Today’s invention is a small metal brace which allows two semi-automatics to be fired simultaneously. This assumes their (substantial) combined weight is supported by both hands of the weapon-wielder.

The brace attaches the frames of the two guns together in such a way that pulling one trigger also pulls the other (and allows the two slide mechanisms still to operate).

This doubles the firepower (and recoil), but the idea is that by mounting one weapon in the opposite orientation to the other (ie with the additional weapon’s barrel below the marksman’s hand and its grip pointing skywards), their tendency to wander off-target during recoil (uplift) will be cancelled out. This will improve accuracy and limit ‘collateral damage’ (The barrels’ axes would need to be set to intersect at a fixed target distance).

#763: Helios

Today’s invention is entirely decorative.

It is what used to be called a ‘standard lamp,’ consisting of a spherical, then-walled metal balloon with a lamp attached. The sphere is filled with helium and anchored to the floor by the lamp’s power cord.

Light from the lamp reflects off the sphere and the cord allows some movement of the lamp as it experiences the natural air movements in the room. Several adjacent lamp units amplify this effect.