#782: Sleepslope

Today’s invention is a way to ensure that even the heaviest sleeper will be unable to ignore getting up time.

A bed frame is hinged as shown, so that the default, horizontal orientation is rudely interrupted at alarm time, rolling the occupant onto the floor.

The unhinged side of the frame would be supported by a glorified hot water bottle containing two chambers, connected by a clockwork-controlled valve.

One chamber would be located in the space within the frame, so that the bottle could simply be rotated the following evening and the clockwork reset.

#781: ViewPoints

Sometimes a thread of comments posted on some website or blog can actually be much more useful and informative than the original article to which they refer.

Text, however, is sooo Web 1.0.

Today’s invention is to allow registered users of a site to post their comments in the form of a link to a video they have uploaded to eg YouTube. The link would only work if the video file to which it connected was less than a fixed number of MB.

This would enable something more like a conversation or debate to be attached permanently and it might even limit the number of trolls who feel the need to insult everyone they disagree with.

Inevitably, it would also point the way to sock-puppet-as-pundits.

#780: BlowSlower

I was always impressed by the ability of Star Trek characters to set their phasers to ‘stun’ and thus provide bellicose aliens with a proportionate response, rather than uniform, maximal force.

Today’s invention is a related adaptation to existing handguns (rather than to specialised riot control devices).

This would take the form of a rotary valve which would allow the weapon user to preselect the area of a set of circumferentially-arrayed vent holes through which some of the propellant gas from a cartridge could be discharged.

No venting would propel the bullet at normal speed; the fully open setting would allow almost all the gas to escape and thus reduce the muzzle velocity of the projectile to a very small, and certainly non-fatal, level.

#779: Gumould

Bubble gum currently takes way too much time and effort.

Today’s invention is a small machine which ‘chews’ some gum repeatedly -undertaking a viscous stirring process in a hygienic chamber, but without adding water and thus maintaining the flavour components in the material. After this, the gum would be forced into a mould, forming it into a disc with a concavity on either side.

This central, thinned region would allow the gum to be placed in the mouth and, without any normal chewing, instantly blown into a successful bubble.

The thin region might even have some coloured food particles added to it, within the machine, so that when the bubble is created, a message (or logo) magically expands on its surface.

This could be a new form of user-selectable love-heart message, perhaps or a new form of advert.

#778: Passcender

I’ll admit to being mildly obsessed by the issue of optimising the performance of lifts in skyscrapers.

There are obvious analogies with scheduling a railway. In order to have the freedom to run express, long-distance lifts, today’s invention is to incorporate some ‘sidings’ in which slower lifts can pause and park, temporarily out of the way.

This would work best in systems where the lifts are attached to the outside of a building. The length of the sidings need be only a very small fraction of the overall height. Rather than use cables, I envisage some kind of geared, funicular arrangement, capable of diverting the cars laterally in safety.

There could then be a processor devoted to scheduling the car movements in near-realtime so that express transits would be given priority for the shortest possible periods.

#777: Billoon

One of the things which makes blowing up balloons difficult for youngsters is that they have to tie a knot when finished, without letting the air escape.

Today’s invention is a simple duck-bill valve which is formed, in stiff rubber, like the tail of a balloon but which fits inside and stops deflation: no knots required.

#776: Quakeshell

Watching footage of some office buildings in an earthquake, I was surprised by the amount by which even full filing cabinets were rocked about.

There is always the danger of a ceiling collapse under such circumstances and I was reminded of the use of Morrison Shelters in the UK during the Blitz. These were basically reinforced tables with mesh sides, designed to protect people from falling brickwork.

Today’s invention is to recreate such shelters for office workers in earthquake zones. A quick survey shows that even these days there is an average of about one filing cabinet per occupant.

In the event of a big quake, when stairwells are often crowded or otherwise obstructed, it might be safer to pull the drawers from one such cabinet, topple it over and hide inside the shell until the threat of falling masonry was over.

Existing cabinets could be retro-fitted internally with a layer of stiff foam for added protection and possible also a cheap mobile phone, fixed inside, to enable those sheltering to call for help.

#775: Tailflame

We’ve heard a lot about the issue of bird strikes on aircraft lately.

Today’s invention is to equip all airliners each with a small rocket (attached to the tailfin, perhaps) and enough propellant to enable them to make a powered descent in the event that all of their jets are disabled by ingestion of flocks of birds.

The rocket would fire only when sensors indicated this condition and it could be designed for single-use, thus decreasing cost and weight of this bolt-on system. To decrease weight still further, the rocket might make use of atmospheric oxygen, rather than on-board oxidants…inefficient ignition might actually be an advantage here, allowing for a more controllable burn.

#774: ChewChew

How about a toy which encourages kids to eat a healthy variety of different things by rewarding them with a little fun?

Today’s invention is a trainset laid out on the dining table in a loop, as shown. Each of the dishes on the train corresponds to a diner and contains one component of a balanced meal. Each young diner wears a simple throatmike which registers when they are eating (and is tuned to ignore when they are talking).

Once everyone has munched, for between five and twenty seconds (as defined by a supervisory parent), the train moves to the next person and stops.

Hungry youngsters can encourage their less keen siblings to eat-up and thus provide themselves with a properly-paced, varied meal. (This idea first appeared here).

#773: Spotterbot

Existing wing mirrors are ugly, hard to adjust, aerodynamically bad news -and they cost the earth when sideswiped by some white van in the 3:30 pub rush.

Today’s invention is to use a UAV, a small remote-controlled helicopter, which could carry a mirror and webcam and relay images direct to the driver. This could be stabilised against vibration and even zoom in on suspected trouble spots ahead. No more dangerous blindspots or invisible dips in the road.

When you want to park, the mirrorbot would help guide you in and then dock itself safely within the vehicle bodywork.