Category: Possible inventions

Microsoft have recently applied for a patent which could use a TSA-type body scan to determine which content would be appropriate to an individual’s age.

Today’s invention takes this a step further (can’t believe all those Redmond patent attorneys missed this one) by using these scans to decide which adverts should be shown to a given person as he/she is searched/scanned en route to board a plane.

Based on body shape and size, adverts for slimming aids,exercise equipment or dietary supplements could be emphasised.

Similarly, movies or medicines eg, made for a particular section of society, could be specifically targeted at those consumers with a stereotypical body shape.

It’s easy to get bamboozled in a HiFi shop in connection with choosing a new system.

Today’s invention is to create a music recording and reproduction system which can emulate the characteristics of any other such device (at least to the level which can be sensed by the most discerning of audiophiles). This would thus be a cousin to the Universal Turing Machine that gave rise to computer science.

The emulator would be fitted into a very well-sprung van and transported to the homes of exceedingly rich and discriminating purchasers.

In each house, the universal tuning machine would be set up and adjusted, by a travelling expert, to reproduce the sound output of a range of other high-end systems within the specific geometry of the room(s).

After a week or so of evaluation across a range of different music, a choice could be made by the homeowner of the product to be purchased and the UTM taken to its next test site. People could even opt to buy themselves a UTM if they were sufficiently well-heeled.

When anyone wears a set of headphones for any length of time, an atmosphere develops inside which can only be described as steamy.

Today’s invention is a set of headphones containing a small airconditioning unit.

This would supply very low-speed, freshly humidified airflow to each of the ‘cans’ so that recording studio engineers and airline pilots etc would not be distracted by having sweaty, itchy ears.

The airflow would be driven around a loop by a very small, low-speed pump, carried on the belt of the user so that no audible noise would be introduced. This unit would also embody an electrically powered chiller/heater.

All of this equipment could be powered by plugging it into a standard jack of the type used to carry the audio signal.

One of the things holding 3-D printing back in the domestic marketplace is the cost of the material. One of the things holding the famous Sugru substance back is that it’s very hard to make regular shapes that don’t look like an amateur potter’s first attempt to make a garden gnome.

Today’s invention seeks to help out both these great ideas.

A 3-D printer is used to make a thin mould (grey) of some common object which is known to fail (say a plastic switch from a Dyson vacuum cleaner). This single mould can then be reused many times by being press-filled with Sugru (blue).

The result is one way to create repair or enhancement parts which have the same surface and geometrical regularity as mass produced items.

Today’s invention is an extra safety feature for cars of the future.

Each vehicle would have sensors capable of predicting a collision with another one (eg by monitoring exterior air pressure for local spikes).

Seat units, each including an integral shielded footwell, would be suspended between floorpan and roof interior on a pole. Each pole would be locked in place within a network of tracks until a collision was about to occur.

Then, the poles would be freed to move along the tracks. Drive units would force the seats into a cluster in the opposite corners of the cars, thus keeping occupants from forming a crumple zone.

The cluster would take on a shape determined by the seats themselves, in their attempt to minimise the total potential damage to the passengers.

Some missiles which are fired to shoot down jet fighters, can apparently detect the position of the cockit and detonate next to the canopy.

As a countermeasure, today’s invention houses the cockit in one of the engine nacelles of a twin engine fighter. There would still be a decoy cockpit in the fuselage of the plane, as well as another engine.

A more advanced version would allow the cockpit nacelle and its wing to detach and act as a lifeboat for a pilot whose aircraft had been attacked.

Today’s invention is a tool which allows website commenters to leave sketches, doodles or hand-drawn symbols, rather than just text.

This would equip people to convey ideas which are difficult to express in words.

Even if they chose to draw stupid or obscene images, these would be much more easily scanned across and ignored, as necessary.

A sequence of such sketches might actually relate to each other, to literally form a bigger picture.

In honour of Graeme Obree, Today’s invention is a collection of devices which might be used to help a bicycle achieve 100MPH.

These include:
a) a low-slung frame with an integral aerodynamic helmet (blue)
b) a linear ratchet-type exercise device to drive the rear wheel by horizontal foot movement only (red)
c) an aerofoil used to give negative lift and force the rear wheel onto the road during initial acceleration (and subsequently discarded once the drag dominates) (orange)
d) A non-steering front wheel -to allow the necessary low frontal area (yellow)

I sometimes watch people setting up scaffolding and marvel at the sheer scale of the effort required. Those poles are heavy and a danger in themselves, if one should slip when being manually manoeuvred at a great height above the street.

They don’t need to be nearly as strong as they are -except when they are located at the base of the scaffolding, supporting all the other poles, men, equipment materials and kit.

Today’s invention is therefore to create two different types of scaffold poles. Red ones would be as per normal and used for the first few floors from street level. White ones would be exactly the same in outer dimensions but with a greatly reduced wall thickness. This would make assembly faster and less effortful, without compromising safety.

If anyone made a mistake and used a white pole near the base, it would be immediately obvious, even to passers-by (It might, however, be simpler to use white poles everywhere in the horizontal direction and red ones vertically).

A more elaborate solution would be to create a standard light steel pole and a range of external nylon tubes of differing thickness (and colour). This would allow a rainbow scaffold to be built with linearly-varying strength from bottom to top.