#453: Hingehorns

Bicycles are always a nuisance to manoeuvre within limited spaces. This applies especially to attempts to bring them aboard trains.

Today’s invention is to reuse the quick-release levers mechanism, which often holds the front wheel in place, to lock the transverse handlebar on top of the forks. Actually, only one of these would be required, the other side taking the form of a hinge.

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When stowing the bike in a shed or on a train, the bar would be undone and then relocked in a vertical orientation.

This would enable bicycles to be stored conveniently and compactly and also allow rolling the bike eg through crowded streets without impaling pedestrians on the ‘horns’.

#452: Pecking orders

Email is great because it makes all organisations flat. You can contact anyone foolish enough to equip you with their address. Email is awful for exactly the same reason: your inbox is quickly filled by the well-intentioned communications of legions of people -each message having largely the same level of priority.

Today’s invention aims to deal with information overload in an organisation. It does this by exploiting the established chain of command. The following rules would be embedded within one’s email client (which would need to know about the underlying organogram).

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You can send email to anyone but those messages which arrive in your inbox from people to whom you report, or who report to you directly, are given priority. In fact, a scale of priority is provided such that e.g. those who are three levels away from you (up or down) are assigned a third level of priority. You can see these (as headers only) but you can’t open them until after having dealt with all messages of priority one and two for example.

The other rule is that if someone at a high level in the organisation is demanding to contact you, his/her message will be treated as described above (potentially low priority) but automatically cc’d to your immediate ‘superior.’ This has the effect of ensuring that the chain of command is maintained and that one’s boss can boost the priority of this demand on your time if, he/she deems that appropriate, by emailing you about it ( with priority 1 ).

Email in support of management: what a revolutionary idea.

#451: Wineslice

I’m increasingly irritated by trying to fit some large, spherical wine glasses into a small, rectangular cupboard.

Today’s invention is a new glass design which resembles those new vases I’ve seen: curvaceous strips sandwiched between two plexiglass plates.

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As shown, this would allow the glasses to nest together neatly, Escher style. Storing these on their sides would save space and lessen the tendency for glassware to find itself nudged off the shelf and into oblivion via contact with the kitchen floor.

Careful design would also allow the ‘stem’ section to act as a glass too, as shown in the right hand picture (maybe taking on the role of sherry or port receptacle).

#450: Twinnedscreens

I seem to be seeing a lot of patent applications, made by major electronics corporations, covering things like new ways for a sliding clamshell phone to be switched into a fliptop rotary keyboard interface etc… These guys are definitely in the fashion business, rather than technology.

Today’s invention is a new laptop interface combination: consisting of a normal screen and a touchscreen in one machine.

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The touchscreen would take the place of the normal keyboard (no more bits of lunch, dust or coffee between the mechanical keys). This would be thinner than a keyboard (which I can never get the hang of) and open up all sorts of opportunities for interfaces -including eg the much heralded new era of ‘surface computing.’

Drawing or typing on the horizontal touchscreen would cause the output to appear on the upright, conventional one. Otherwise, the laptop would perform as usual with the normal screen acting as the stand-up display.

Turn this system through 90 degrees and you can read content just as in a book (with one page informing the other) or even set up a stereoscopic display for 3-D content viewing.

This approach would surely also work for mobile phones.

#449: Wiglid

People who wear helmets whilst riding a bike are given less room by eg the drivers of motorvehicles. This is likely to cause them to have more collisions -and be grateful for their protective headgear.

Since these results were first published, there’s been a tonne of nonsense in the press about how you should wear a blonde wig whilst cycling rather than a helmet… today’s invention aims to provide the best of both worlds.

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It takes the form of a bicycle helmet with a realistic coating of hair on the outside. Presumably, anything which makes a cyclist look more vulnerable would work (such as a small but perceptible built-in dynamic wobble in the steering or a skintight, fleshcoloured one-piece suit or even a large, bloodstained bandage).

Somehow the external wig seems a better idea.

#448: Buzzcast

It’s a recognised problem that people who have to wear a surgical cast for a long period develop circulatory problems, leading to eg a certain amount of muscle wastage.

Today’s invention attempts to lessen the severity of such symptoms. It consists of a process in which two or three cheap old mobile phones are strapped onto the limb in question before being encased in plaster (or hard shell bandage).

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These can be called periodically and caused to vibrate, thus promoting local circulation and helping to preserve tissue health.

#447: Paperaser

It’s pretty annoying that we are exhorted at the end of almost every email to ‘save the planet’ by not printing things out -and yet paper is such a convenient, portable, readable medium. Actually, you can’t easily beat pencil and paper for overall ease of use.

Today’s invention is a small printer which moves a printhead about in the usual way but which writes using a small stick of graphite (fed automatically, as in a propelling pencil).

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This printer has no paper tray because it uses only one sheet (until it wears out). Once having ‘drawn’ out the required map or shopping list or child’s drawing, the sheet can be reinserted (probably in the oposite direction) and the printhead then applies a small, rotary eraser to the places previously drawn upon.

In this way, we get all the convenience of using paper and we also ensure that many fewer trees get the chop.

#446: Movary camera

I was talking to a friend the other day who had managed to gain access to a very high speed camera (nominally for filming various biological processes). 2500 frames a second results in a lot of data to store and it occurred to me that much of it is bound to be of not very much happening.

Just as with the various attempts to create videophones, one way to minimise bandwidth usage and storage is to detect from frame to frame when things are changing and transmit only that changed information.

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Today’s invention begins from a similar starting point. It’s a video camera which detects when frame content is changing rapidly and increases the rate at which images are captured. By contrast, the frame rate could be drastically reduced in situations where people were making movies of one static view of eg King’s College Chapel, or other essentially motionless subject matter.

This would obviously increase the amount of material which could be captured in the onboard memory of a movie camera and allow it to be more easily transmitted across networks.

#445: Slowdry

I happen to have a laptop with a fanspeed that is permanently set to ‘hurricane.’ This set me thinking about ways to reuse this excessive airflow. I was almost convinced that drying nailpolish would be a good application…but how many people would be prepared to sit at their keyboard, without typing, whilst their nail varnish dried? The stench of billowing acetone would be overpowering too, I reckon.

So, today’s invention is a showercap with a lightweight hose which connects to the various fan outlets of an overblowing computer. The user can don the cap after arriving at their workstation, direct from the shower, thus saving themselves maybe 10 minutes per day using an environmenticidal hairdryer.

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It may take an hour for one’s hair to dry but at least it’s an effective reuse of energy and if you want it to blow harder faster, just try working under Vista (obviously I’m not serious about that part).

#444: Glowstools

Having recently become a dog owner, I’m now painfully aware of the need to avoid standing in the excrement which she deposits liberally around what’s left of our garden.

You can, I understand, now buy dog food that’s laced with fluorescent material, precisely to deal with with this issue. Who knows what effect this synthetic stuff may have on the animal’s metabolism in the long term, though.

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Today’s invention is an entirely organic, natural alternative.

Bioluminescent funghi, such as those available via www.nipht.com, are remarkable organisms which glow bright green. They could be supplied as a healthy food supplement for dog food (a multi-billion dollar industry). The glowing dogpoo which inevitably results would be easily detectable and removable.

Any deposits which weren’t removed (eg by irresponsible owners) would at least be avoidable and might be even more quickly broken down by the action of these smart toadstools.