#694: Swimfence

Olympic swimming events are timed by an electronic system capable of measurements accurate to within 1/1000 sec. Since the pools themselves are hard to construct with corresponding precision, medals are allocated based on differences of only 1/100 sec.

It seems to me that the lane in which one swims at this level of competition must have a broadly similarly-sized effect on a competitor’s race time. Those at the edges will be contacted by strongly asymmetric wave action and a non-uniform turbulence field.

Today’s invention is a way to limit these non-uniformities. It consists of a set of transparent barriers from the pool floor to above the current level of the lane floats, which they replace. These would be set on the pool bottom and flooded with pool water before an internal, end to end cable is tensioned, exactly equally for each barrier.

These would conveniently stop the fluid dynamics interactions between lanes, whilst still allowing swimmers to see each other.

#693: 5ruit

We are constantly being exhorted by various medical ‘experts’ to consume five fruit items a day. I had been avidly chewing my way through five apples on a daily basis, only to be told that this didn’t count: they had to be different fruits.

So, today’s invention is a reusable net bag with a name tag and containing five pouches, each of which holds a different item of fruit. This would allow convenient, healthy fruit buying as well as monitoring of the amount actually consumed by any individual.

#692: Hollowjet

Bored by the sheer complexity of jet engine design, yet enthused by Whittle’s inventiveness and determination, I’m always interested in alternatives.

Here is a much simpler (albeit less efficient) engine in which the rotating elements (blue) are all made in a single, casting (which is therefore inherently robust -the compressor and turbine blades are retained by strong outer rings which rotate in bearings built into eg the body of a wing section).

The simplicity of this inside-out, shaftless design would allow many such engines, each fed centrally with fuel as shown, to power a given aircraft or whatever.

#691: Dustguster

Having spent an earsplitting two days listening to the whine of a dust-filled projector, I began to think of solutions.

When a device such as this screens a message saying “I’m overheating,” it’s probably time to clean out the clag which is mostly causing the problem. Today’s invention is a fan, suitable for computers, projectors etc which is driven by a gearwheel engaging with teeth on the outer edge of a ring joining the ends of its blades. This is an alternative to the normal fixed, central driveshaft.

Such an approach allows a button to be pressed which briefly withdraws the axle supporting the fan and spits this (plastic) item out of the body of the device, allowing it to be thoroughly washed clean, dried and reinserted.

#690: Keymap

Almost every electronic device now comes with an on-screen keyboard.

Today’s invention introduces an extra measure of novelty and functionality. Although there are lots of keyboards which claim to have arranged the keys according to which are most frequently used (in the population as a whole), the idea today is to use the mapping techniques recently applied to the US election to take account of population density variations.

Each key would have its usage frequency recorded and its on-screen size increased the more it was clicked. The electoral maps techniques could maintain a continuous surface of keys, whilst also changing their individual sizes.

This would make finding the keys most commonly used (by an individual) easier and thus improve both typing speed and accuracy.

#689: Smilewiper

Confronted by leering, smug facial images on various websites I visit frequently, it occurred to me that if I can’t hack their servers and replace the offending pics, I’d really like an opportunity to control their appearance somewhat.

Today’s invention is a program which allows my browser to record the details of glasses or a silly hairdo which I have chosen to draw with a mouse on my screen -and then always adorns that particular image, when passed to my browser, with these whimsical features overlaid.

This would lessen my irritation with certain political individuals and the fact that I have no control over their rampant urge to self-publicise.

#688: Peegreen

There is, apparently a worldwide campaign to encourage anyone who has just used a lavatory and only left urine, not to flush. This is intended to conserve a vast amount of water (at the expense of some very minor embarrassment).

Although there are numerous scented, disinfectant-laden and usually blue-coloured toilet liquids available, today’s invention is a new one.

Made from grass cuttings, this green liquid, dispensed into the cistern, would disguise the presence of urine and thus greatly decrease the flushing frequency (without adding any noxious chemicals to the drainage system).

#687: Trashdunk

Inspired by IDEO’s fingerblaster and the Aerobie Rocket Football today’s invention is a new way to deal with the mountains of plastic soft drinks bottles which I see littering the roadsides near my home.

Each plastic bottle would be blow moulded with fin-like protruberances at the bottom end. Council waste bins would be equipped, by the drinks manufacturers, with a branded hoop clipped to the top of each one.

People would be encouraged, by a marketing campaign, to see the challenge in firing their winged bottles into bins, rather than just dropping them. Groups of youngsters would be encouraged to film long-distance target practice shots and upload these to YouTube, in order to win a national anti-litter prize.

They might gain extra points by also filming the process of loading their bottles with other rubbish to provide better flight dynamics and clean up their neighbourhood whilst having some extra fun.

#686: Ovfin

I’m given to believe by the nice people who sold me my new, wood-burning stove that it’s about four times more efficient than just burning the fuel in an open hearth. I suspect that it’s actually still horribly inefficient and a pretty good tool for promoting global warming.

Naturally, I thought of searching the patent databases to understand what innovations are out there to improve performance. Lots of ‘prior art’ exists on fitting fins, ducts, baffles etc inside a stove, to improve burning efficiency, or to extract heat from the flue gases.

Today’s invention is a little different in that it consists of a bank of magnetic fins which can be attached to the outsides and rear of a cast-iron stove and which greatly improve the convective heat transfer to the airflow in contact with these areas. Painted in matt black heatproof enamel, these would be comparatively unobtrusive, yet capable of boosting the effective output of many domestic heating stoves.

Repeated heating and cooling would result in eventual demagnetisation, requiring renewal…but these fins could be made with detachable magnets whose replacement could be arranged to occur as part of normal system maintenance.

#685: Dragbag

Responsible dog owners are supposed to collect their animals’ excrement and carry it to a designated dog waste bin (at least in many cities).

Today’s invention is a way for such people to illustrate their responsibility by carrying with them a highly visible, ultra-durable bag marked “Dog Waste.” Any scurrilous owners not thus equipped and allowing their canine pals to defecate literally with abandon could then be approached by dog wardens and, if necessary, fined.

The bags would be inverted to lift the dog mess and also be equipped with a nylon rope so that, when filled, each could be dragged behind the owner in search of a suitable bin, rather than be carried in a pocket. This would further publicise their effort, avoid the dreadful stench and allow their dog, if walking off-lead behind, to follow and catch up more easily.

These bags could be hosed out on returning home which would also reduce the problem of dealing with the millions of plastic bags filled with dog poo left in waste bins.