Category: Feasible inventions

For people whose hair grows fast, maintaining that gorgeous mane can become a chore. Just after a vigorous crewcut, a thinly-spaced, multi-prong, equine curry comb is appropriate. After a few weeks of unrestrained growth, it can be hard to pass a single slim comb through (shearing can then become an attractive option).

Today’s invention is for those of us hirsute types who would rather not cart about a range of brushing devices.

Take a number of identical combs and arrange them side by side. Pass an axle through all of them at one end so as to form a penknife-like device. Moving from comb to comb, remove increasing numbers of teeth from each one.

This allows different numbers and spacings of teeth to be used, corresponding to whether a sparse, dense, shallow or deep array of teeth is required (and is certainly no heavier than a normal hairbrush).

Flexible seating in halls and auditoria is often pretty inelegant. It takes forever to arrange and then pack away again.

Today’s invention is a single-piece solution. A sigmoid-section length of sheet material is used as both the seat, backrest and support for this form of seating, as shown. Once joined together, using pegs through the holes provided, these seats can be linked into rows for greater stability.

The vertical supports can be ‘telescoped’ and pegged at varying heights so that seats at the back of a hall can be higher than those at the front.

For storage, all the components can be stacked, hung from the walls of the hall or, reconfigured, provide decorative, sound absorbing screens.

When operating any kind of power tool it’s important to know where your fingers are, at all times. Monitoring this is a surprisingly demanding mental task, especially when concentrating on actually doing the work.

Today’s invention attempts to ensure that one’s fingers stay safely attached.

Any given tool would have two runners permanently attached so that the edges of four rings would fit into each (think shower curtain rings here). These rings would be slightly sprung apart from one another. To start the device in question, press the ‘on’ button as usual, insert four fingers from one hand into each bank of four rings and squeeze the rings into contact with each other. This would form a circuit, powering up the device in question.

In this way, only when one’s fingers are correctly located and the tool held firmly will it operate, thus ensuring that you can’t run the motormower/ chainsaw/ router etc when fiddling with the spinning sharp bits.

I have to confess, I hate boardgames. They demand too much attention when I could be enjoying myself sitting quietly thinking about something much more original. There are no prizes worth getting excited about. They are usually based on a large element of chance. Five year-olds regularly beat me.

It’s certainly very hard to come up with any kind of interesting boardgame which can be played by a family using equipment that costs only pence to make.

Today’s invention is a variant on snakes and ladders. The board has no fixed snakes or ladders. These are placed on the board randomly to start. Each player is assigned, say, two elasticated snakes and two ladders. The ends of each carry a counter the same as the one used to represent each player. On tossing the die, a player can choose to move one end of one of his or her snakes or ladders forward by the number of squares it indicates (Using one positive and one negative die might be required, to generate retrograde motions).

This allows players to tactically position the feet of ladders in front of their own counter and the heads of snakes in front of those of their opponents.

Recalling a previous meal can, it seems, significantly reduce the tendency to eat snacks.

Today’s invention is therefore food wrapping for eg a lunchtime sandwich or a box of pasta salad which carries a particularly sumptuous photograph of the food on a plate. These photos would be designed to be extractable from the disposable part of the package and to be kept on one’s desk or in one’s wallet.

A section of one’s daily transparent lunch packaging could actually tear out and serve as a photoframe: a reminder of how good lunch tasted today that could, over time, stop you from becoming obese.

Attending a big meeting recently at a very fancy university event, I noticed that they had provided little tissue pads to site between the cups and saucers. These were, inevitably, branded with the university crest.

It occurred to me that this all seemed a little crazy.

Today’s invention is a generic saucer made of the same pulpy cellulose material from which egg cartons are formed. This would be supplied to institutions together with a small press in the shape of their emblem or logo (just like the ones you get when you register a company in the UK). The cups would still be ceramic.

There would be no more saucer rattling, the drips would be effectively soaked up, the brands would be displayed prominently and the saucers themselves could be easily recycled into eg plant mulch or more saucers, thus cutting down on the dishwashing load significantly. There would also be no toxic ink residues to worry about.

I’ve often read books that were not worthy of the name.

Today’s invention is a book comprised of some of the world’s worst writing (a search online for ‘my poems’ or even ‘mein kampf’ will usually deliver quite a lot of appropriate content).

Once printed, on softish quality toilet paper, this material could then be ripped out a page or two at a time and assigned a more appropriate use than pretending to be literature.

Domestic, hot water ‘radiators’ are easily obstructed; meaning that you can reduce the thermal comfort of your home by allowing boxes, chairs, dogbaskets etc to be placed in contact with them. This effectively stops the necessary airflow over the outer metal surface…and you wonder why it’s suddenly so cold.

On a double radiator, as shown, this can be as much as a 25% reduction in heat output (and slow cooking like this doesn’t help to preserve the integrity of one’s furniture, either)

Today’s invention is a stiff plate (made of insulative material) which fits to the front of any radiator, is held in place by magnets, and which guarantees that a sufficient airflow is maintained, even when obstructions are crammed up against it.