#2007: DeepDock

If you are deluded enough as a national leader that you want to build nuclear submarines, rather than invest in friendship, then today’s invention is for you Generalissimo.

Every inch of the planet surface is now inspected minutely by satellites so that when a new naval vessel is being built, everyone knows about it.

Today’s invention is therefore a factory for building and launching submarines which is itself a submarine.

This would be a semi-automated production line, fitted inside a sub the size of an aircraft carrier (which would have to be built in a land-based dockyard, but disguised as a conventional ship).

This would navigate to random rendez-vous and be supplied with watertight containers of materials and parts dropped over the sides of ships.

In this way, a sequence of new submarines could be launched like torpedoes, wherever was tactically optimal.

#2006: Stressoon

Moore’s Law suggests that we get a doubling of computing power on chips of a given size every couple of years. Do we really need an ever increasing number of CPU cycles?

Yes of course. In future, tasks that currently take weeks of supercomputer churning will be accomplished in near real-time by relatively common equipment.

Today’s invention is an example. Imagine a drill press which has access to a massive database of engineering components. It also has a supercomputer built-in that can grab or generate a 3-D mesh of the barcoded component currently on its table.

A laser shines down the drill axis and is imaged by a camera so that the system knows where and how big a hole is about to be formed.

In under a second, it calculates the stress distribution of the part, post drilling, under typical loading conditions, and projects that onto the surface as a ‘heat map.’

Too many stress hotspots generated? Move the drill to one side and recalculate. Similar things could be done for fluid flows as part of the process of engine tuning.

#2005: WakeBrake

When one vehicle in a motor race drives behind another, the trailing one benefits from a reduction in drag.

They can lurk in this position and use the power reserve and fuel saving it allows to perform a sudden overtaking manoeuvre when the timing suits them.

This represents an unfair asymmetry in such sports -with very powerful vehicles able to slipstream the less powerful but not vice versa (since the fast cars or bikes can more easily pull away).

Today’s invention is therefore a sensor which detects when one bike for example is travelling directly behind and close to another.

In this instance, the following machine’s rev limiter kicks in, in order to make the race more about driving skill than vehicle design/tuning.

#2004: SoakSign

Signs which indicate a wet floor are often not seen until after one has tripped over them or slipped in the liquid they are warning about.

Today’s invention is therefore a ‘wet floor’ sign made of spongy foam.

When there has been a spillage, one or more of these cones dropped on it will soak up the mess and can be wrung out later over a bucket.

The softness of the material means that even if you stumble across the sign, it won’t itself cause an injury.

#2003: RackLack

Conventional racks for the rooves of cars never look part of the vehicle -they always seem like some kind of ugly afterthought.

Today’s invention is a bike rack which is actually a part of the bike itself…and which leaves the car looking as its designer intended.

Here we see a bike placed on its side on the roof of a car. The normal rain guttering ridges or integral rails on vehicles are indicated in red.

The bike would have four padded fixtures built in: one on the handlebar, one on the seatpost and two on the wheel rims.

Clipping the first two onto the rails first would allow both of the wheels to be rotated so that their fixtures could be clipped in place on the opposite rail.

This would provide secure, low-drag attachment of a single bike to vehicles with different widths. A similar approach would allow bikes to be attached to each side and the tailgate of the car.

(What do you mean ‘another bike invention?’ 😉

#2002: FraMe

It’s been all of a day or so since last I thought up a new bicycle design.

Today’s invention is a bike frame consisting of three, box-section aluminium beams.

Each of these members has slots in its edge through which the other beams can pass and be secured by a bolt through both of them.

The saddle attaches to the diagonal bar, as indicated, using the same type of joining technology…which allows it to be repositioned. The steering column runs from handlebars to the front wheel down the inside of the foremost beam.

This configuration would be comparatively simple to manufacture and also allow a frame to be re-sized conveniently to fit a large number of different people.

#2001: Recamending

When shopping on Amazon, I’m reluctant to check the ‘is it a gift?’ box in case I get stung for some additional wrapping charge.

Today’s invention is some code which would replace this question with ‘Is it for someone else?’

If that box is checked, then the option for giftwrap might appear. If it isn’t, then this particular purchase wouldn’t be included in future recommendations for me.

It drives me mad that I still have to wade through volumes of Harry Potter products because I once bought a daughter a DVD.

#2000: SparseSpars

Today’s invention is an adaptation of one submitted to my Inventors’ Inbox column written with Mark Sheahan.

Imagine a lean back-type bicycle in which the triangle formed by the frame tubes between steering head, seat and pedal axle (dashed) could be replaced by three tubes with a shorter total length (shown in red).

It turns out that there is some mathematics which allows this total length to be minimised (although the tubes themselves might have to be a bit wider).

(I tried to use this technique in laying down a garden path, but was overruled on aesthetic grounds).

#1999: ShipPits

Formula 1 racing is many things but one of the things it isn’t, despite its protestations, is in any way green.

For each of the races hundreds of tonnes of equipment and people are transported all over the globe by routes that no travelling salesman would think even close to minimal.

Today’s invention is twofold. Rather than trample across local religious festivals and traditions, as now, the schedule of races would be reorganised to allow them to occur in some sort of sensible, distance-minimising sequence around the globe.

This process would be served by a single large ship, especially configured to allow the various teams to undertake separate activities on board.

The vessel could be an adapted aircraft carrier, allowing the drivers to appear on deck using their own helicopters.

As well as enormous workshop facilities, there would also be a large, oval roadway attached to the runway and protruding out over the sea on both sides. This would allow cars to be tested en route (and provide an extra advertising opportunity).

The ship would allow each team a small number of container trucks to drive from docks to track, thus lessening the huge logistical issues of parking and accommodation.

#1998: Museumatic

I have always loved museums.

It amazes me that most simply don’t have space to display the vast majority of their collections.

Today’s invention is a recommendation engine which drives an automated display system for museums.

Visitors would sit in booths and enter the subject of their search on a screen. Items from an unseen automated warehouse containing the collection (perhaps multiple different collections) would appear on a conveyor belt behind a glass wall.

Information would be available on the screen about each item, together with a way to store data which were interesting/relevant -for use in current projects. An overview would contain links which, if followed, would cause various other items to appear on the conveyor.

Each artefact would be accompanied by a set of tickboxes on-screen. These would allow a visitor to specify the extent to which the current item was interesting and to help recommend the next one to appear (rather than a like/dislike choice, the engine would be able to form a view about the reasons for one’s recent preference, the better to suggest increasingly satisfying exhibits).