Invention Of The Day – Page 267 – Just another break-step productions sites site

#233: Mechanical magnifier

Inevitably with the volume of texting which occurs, people are now starting to complain about repetitive strain injury to their thumbs and fingers.

Conventional keypads have a lot to answer for, as has the tendency among designers to cram in as much functionality as possible on a thumbprint-sized area. What is really needed is a full-sized keyboard which can magically still allow one’s superslick phone or pda to slip into the briefest of pockets.

Today’s invention addresses exactly this problem. An aftermarket accessory would be made available consisting of a bag of stalks, perhaps 30mm in length (although keen people could trim theirs for optimal use). On one end of each stalk would be a small adhesive pad -on the other end, a fingertip-sized, moulded-in button.

When attached (temporarily, for a serious texting session) by adhesive pads to the keys on the keyboard, the stalks would be capable of small, independent, axial movements to drive the keys They would splay outwards from the phone pad forming a new, scaled up version of the original one -but requiring much less dexterity/concentration and finger pressure.

The stalks might be conical in form, allowing them to be neatly nested when not in use, The buttons could be made transparent so the underlying keys could remain visible (or opaque so that letter stickers, supplied as part of the kit, could be applied as needed).

Also good for glove-wearing phone users.

#232: Can crusher

Recycling metal cans is ok as long as the metal is aluminium. If we are talking steel, there is no easy way to crush them flat for efficient storage and transport: short of giving them a good sledgehammering

To make life easier, simply disrupt the part of the design that provides such structural strength: their seams.

Each can would be opened at one end in the usual way and the contents removed. I’d imagine using an electric, wall mounted opener in which the can was free to rotate about a diameter halfway along its height (using eg a big suction cup, to help pour the contents into a bowl). A wide variety of can sizes could be dealt with by this technique.

This would allow the opener swiftly to deal with removing the other end of the can. The remaining open-ended tube would be much more easily flattened by use of a smallish lever (in the same way as Al cans are now).

#231: Duststubs

Every laptop you can buy nowadays is so pocked with ports and connectors and plugholes that they look like Swiss cheese.

It might seem mundane, but these tend to get clogged with dust, fluff and other extraneous crud. This certainly has a bad effect on the longevity of the machine and, worst of all, any contamination between contacts and you start to lose connectivity.

Today’s invention is simply a selection of rubberised ‘earplugs’ of various standard sizes and configurations which can be used to blank off these holes. Each would be backed with a plastic tab (in a variety of popular colours) for easy removal.

#230: Shredsafe

Using my shredder every time a single document needs dealt with is a pain because it’s noisy and slow. So I have been posting them into the bin which forms the lower part of the machine. Over time, this has filled up and there is now a pile adjacent to the bin.

I do this shredding thing because there are some documents that I’d prefer not to hand to thieves and blackmailers. It just suddenly struck me as ironic that all of this high-security material is now lying in my office in the vicinity of the shredder: it might as well have a big sign on it saying “Important, sensitive documents -please steal.”

So, today’s invention is simply to equip the device with a laptop-like cable lock and a hasp. The hasp would link the bin (without obstructing its posting slot, of course) to the box on top with the blades in. This would also loop around my desk to make walking off with the whole thing significantly more difficult.

#229: Smoking mask

Smoking: I just don’t get it. Even if you feel it makes you look ‘cool’ and wildly attractive to the opposite sex and calms you down and…you’re just plain wrong, ok?

In Europe, lots of countries are banning smoking in public places, which has to be a good thing. The ankle-deep leaf litter of discarded butts outside these buildings is not. Even when ash cans are provided, they don’t seem to get used very effectively.

So I suggest that, rather than forcing people to stand outside in the rain, smokers should be compelled to use today’s invention. It’s a smoking mask. A cigarette is loaded into a tightly fitting breathing mask and lit by contact with a car-type integrated lighter.

Some of the incoming airstream, when inhaling, is drawn through the cigarette. On exhalation, a battery of activated carbon and particle filters stops the usual exhaust problems and removes the danger to others of passive smoking. If we employed a small cyclone separator at the outlet, this would also enable the wearer to perform the usual coughing that is all part of looking cool and grown-up.

This mask could be used as an active aid to help people give up the habit by eg displaying the number of cigarettes consumed or the ongoing cost. It could also contain a prefilter to remove increasing amounts of the toxins and addictive elements over time.

#228: Supersized bike

I live in a place with some of the best biking roads, but one of my major frustrations is not having a motorcycle.

Why? It’s simply because even the biggest motorcycles available just don’t fit my long back. The result is that when I sit on one, my head is way above the tank, leaving my chest right in the path of the oncoming airflow. That’s not the real problem of course, since I can easily hold on at my maximum speed of 80mph (on a dry private road, in a straight line). The real issue is that I look ridiculous sitting on a machine designed for a normal-sized adult.

Anything that’s supposed to have been derived from a racing machine is out of the question, since it’s designed with the physique of an undernourished homunculus/jockey in mind. Some of the bigger bikes come close to acceptable, but I’m not prepared to fork out £12,000 for ‘close’ (to say nothing of all that ugly chromium).

Today’s invention is an optional, factory-fitted tall tank+big screen+high bars kit, for people over 6′. If a single manufacturer went to town and designed these parts to be both compatible with the rest of the machine and also aesthetically right, for a couple of appropriate bikes, I’m sure they would reopen motorcycling to a large section of customers.

The normal tank could be fitted to a high fibreglass shell integrated into the screen and (lowered) seat, so that the fuel mass would remain low and not affect the handling/dynamics.

#227: Wingflatable

Ever since a hot air balloon nearly crashed into my roof I’ve been intrigued by these vehicles. Their combination of high drag and low manoeuvrability make them pretty unexciting transportation devices though.

Today’s invention aims to change that.

The net upthrust on the balloon envelope is mostly due to the product of its plan area and the difference in atmospheric pressure between top and bottom surfaces. This makes it possible to play with the geometry without sacrificing buoyancy.

Imagine a balloon envelope say, two meters in height, 100m wide and 4m broad. This could be formed with a respectable aerofoil section and thus of generating additional lift. For extra safety, two half-size wings could be joined into a biplane. A 4m wide wing section filled with hot air (from one end) would be capable of some flexure (via cables) and thus much more directional control.

Equip the whole thing with a small fan to provide some motive power and you have a robust, steerable flying machine that can pack into the boot of a biggish car.

#226: Joint saver

Hip replacement operations, although highly successful, are very costly. The reason that so many are required is that when someone has even a minor fall, the ligaments around their hip, the ones that hold the hip joint ‘ball’ in its ‘socket’, become suddenly very taught.

It’s this sudden snapping force which can break the balljoint off the top of the femur, rather than any subsequent impact with the floor.

Today’s invention is a belt containing two syringes of fast-acting muscle relaxant. Each syringe is positioned over the hip region of the wearer. An accelerometer on the belt detects when a fall is in progress (just like the mechanism for locking up the hard disk in a falling laptop).

When this occurs, the syringes automatically inject their content into both hip regions, preventing a serious tightening of the muscles and saving the joints from damage. Actually, you might well see more dislocations (it’s to avoid these that the muscles tighten up) but that seems like a much less significant problem that femoral-neck fractures.

#225: Modesty mask

I’m getting just a little tired of people fighting about their religious beliefs. If folk want to dress in a particular way because their god tells them to do so, then, I’d be strongly inclined not to try to stop them. Equally, I wouldn’t want my children taught by someone dressed as Ronald MacDonald, the Lone Ranger or Darth Vadar.

Today’s invention attempts to defuse the row about certain groups of people wearing clothes that may interfere with their communications with the rest of us.

It takes the form of a mask incorporating a small screen (basically another hacked mobile phone) on which would be displayed an image of their face, captured by the inbuilt camera and coarsely pixellated.

It would display just enough infomation for others to be able to lip read what they are saying and sense the mood of ther comments, but without revealing their identity or even their sex.

If necessary, their voice could be disguised too.

#224: Stress alarm

How much illnesss is caused by stress? Nobody knows but it must be a lot and, as every £100k+ doctor is aware, healthcare is very expensive.

Today’s invention is aimed at tuning people in to the level of stress to which they are subject, before it accumulates and does them further, longterm harm.

A straingauge is attached to the inside surface of a molar. Clamping or grinding one’s back teeth is a sure sign of undue tension, so the straingauge can monitor the stress set up in the enamel and drive an integrated buzzer device.

If you are having a hard day at the office or trying to deal with customer service representatives who just don’t understand the concept, this will remind you not to grit your teeth.

Life’s too short to spend it in a state of perpetual dental compression.