#1386: 7LeagueLegs

Today’s invention is a novel way to enjoy exercise. It consists of a small trampoline on wheels.

When someone bounces on the trampoline, sensors in the springs around the base pass data to an onboard computer which calculates accurately the direction and in-flight time of the user.

These data allow the trampoline’s wheels to be driven along the ground to catch the user when next he/she descends.

With practice, someone could thus learn to make long-distance bounds, eg along a road or track, whilst the trampoline automatically repositions itself to support the next, enormous step.

#1385: CleanerShield

Today’s invention is a modification to those conventional (and pretty effective) vacuum cleaner bags that many of us still use.

I’ve noticed that sucking up fragments of rubble and sharp debris tends pretty quickly to make a hole in the side of the bag opposite the inlet (rendering the whole device temporarily useless).

The idea would therefore be to place a cheap, multilayer cardboard pad on the inside of the bag at the impact location. This would effectively resist damage whilst not limiting too greatly the flexibility or the air-permeable area of the bag itself.

#1384: Flightframe

Helicopters obviously have limited load-lifting capability.

Today’s invention is a frame (red) to which individual helicopters can be bolted in order to allow truly massive weights to be transported easily, with the load shared between n rotary-wing aircraft.

Given that no pilot is keen to have their craft attached to others, the frame would also contain circuitry which allows n-1 uncrewed machines to be controlled in synchrony from a master helicopter.

#1383: MatchMachine

Today’s invention is intended to provide assistance to those men who are hopeless at coordinating clothes.

Imagine a vending machine which is full of blank ties in some natural, uncoloured material. A man in need of smartening up stands in front of the machine and is imaged by a camera in the machine.

Software on board identifies the shades already being worn and selects a tie pattern and colouration which will be inoffensive.

This is applied to a blank tie, dried and then passed to the customer, following the traditional transference of credit card data.

#1382: Supermarine

Today’s invention is an alternative to the usual submarine’s conning tower -an underwater crow’s nest.

To reduce drag and provide a higher observation platform, a minisub is located on a pair of streamlined arms as shown. The minisub has an airlock connection to the rear of the hull so that crew can enter and leave freely when in transit.

The minisub could detach from the hull, using the arms, and rise close to or high above the surface.

It might even be possible to have this vehicle detach completely and act as a lifeboat in an emergency.

#1381: ShoalShaper

It seems that shoals of fish are subject to a tension between the tendencies to swim closely to avoid predators and to spread out to get enough oxygen.

(There are examples of eg dolphins blowing bubbles in order somehow to direct a shoal, so maybe the injection of some extra oxygen allows the fish to bunch up more, making them easier to eat).

Today’s invention is an air line from a fishing boat. When a shoal is detected on the sonar, this line would descend into the shoal, aerate it and allow the fish to form a tighter than usual ball…resulting in a higher than normal percentage caught in the vessel’s net.

#1380: Scalepaint

If you are into building scale model construction kits (and I used to be obsessed by the whole process), there is a problem with the paints you need to complete the job.

Essentially, a perfectly accurate duck egg blue or an olive drab coating, when applied to some model in 1/72nd scale, looks way too intense.

I’m not sure about the neurophysiology of why this is, but professional modellers know it’s true and dilute accordingly (otherwise that feldgrau Tiger tank looks black -even in 1/35th).

Today’s invention is model paints which are matched more correctly to the scale of model for which they are intended. Manufacturers could supply a separate range of paints for every scale, but more usefully a kit could be sold which would allow makers to dilute their own precisely (according to the measured perceptions of psychophysical test subjects as to which of a range of eg tanks looked the correct shade when set against images of the real thing).

#1379: Lavenue

Driving to the car wash is a waste of time and effort.

Today’s invention is a mobile carwash that comes to your car. A small vehicle drives down the pavement and extends its brushed arms around your car as shown.

The operator would decide how dirty each car was and use only enough water and detergent to deal with the job in hand.

In this way, an entire street of parked cars could be washed very economically, whilst their owners were elsewhere.

#1378: Tersearch

My attention span started off short and is getting rapidly shorter. If a document is written in convoluted sentences (or in the case of a patent application, one half-page ‘sentence’), then I usually avoid reading it.

Today’s invention is a tool to order search results by average sentence length on a webpage.

This would help people to mostly avoid florid language in favour of writers who get to the point.

#1377: CarouSell

Manufacturers of eg edible goods are obsessive about understanding what we like best. Today’s invention is a box for chocolates or biscuits which allows communication about our preferences.

It consists of a (grey) annular box, like a slide carousel, in which eg biscuits are arranged on their sides and visible through a transparent, annular lid.

The lid must be rotated so that a slot in it corresponds with the biscuit of one’s choice. As this happens, a small (red) pen leaves a line on a roll of paper wrapped around the outer face of the carousel. When the pen stops, it leaves a small blot.

Microscopic analysis later of the blots and the line’s local ink depth allows interpretation of the order in which biscuits were visited.

Consumers could be offered a small incentive to mail the paper sheet back to the manufacturer to aid product development.