Category: Whimsical inventions

When plants grow too tall, they start to take over a domestic environment.

Today’s invention is a plant pot stand which can measure the height of the plant placed on it (say daily, by using a photocell to spot the shadow of the plant on the adjacent wall at a fixed time each day). It would then, very gradually, reduce its own height to compensate -keeping the plant’s tallest point at a fixed vertical location.

This would be achieved by having a very slow-rate screw built into the stand’s telescopic column. Rotation of the stand on the screw would be via a battery-driven electric motor and a suitable gearbox.

I have a real problem when I find rubbish dumped on the street within a few metres of a wastebin.

Today’s invention is a way to help deal with litter. It achieves this by making bins more interactive.

Each bin would contain a large number of fine threads held on reels. The free end of each thread would be equipped with a small magnetic catch, leaflike in shape, so that a loop could be formed in the end of the thread.

Periodically, a fan within the bin would blow these ends of the threads high in the air, causing them to fall to earth in a circular distribution, up to say 5m from the bin.

People would be able to attach light items of rubbish and then watch as these were withdrawn back into the bin under the action of the same motor that drives the fan.

Each thread’s catch would be opened simply by coming into contact with a constriction within the bin, releasing the item of waste to fall inside.

Wind farms are springing up everywhere. Each turbine requires that three huge blades are transported on large trucks, which frequently causes jams and sometimes accidents.

Today’s invention is therefore a reusable kit of components which temporarily transforms a large turbine’s blades into a glider.

There would be a bolt-on tail section and a cockpit/undercarriage module, linking the three blades. Control wires would be fed down the hollow shaft of each blade.

Each glider would be launched using a towline and flown to the windfarm location. At that point, the blades would be bolted to the turbine dynamo and the aircraft components conveniently shipped back to the blade factory by road.

I’ve always been a bit underwhelmed by the way in which vehicles steer. There is such a lot of mechanical complexity and tyre scrubbing on tarmac which seems inelegant.

Today’s invention is a change of direction in changing direction.

A vehicle would have all four wheels fixed in the forward direction. To turn, the rear pair would be subject to a sharp accelerative torque, causing the vehicle to ‘pull a wheelie’. This would only need to raise the front wheels off the ground by a few mm.

Whilst the front two were airborne, one of the rear wheels would have a small extra torque applied, rotating the body of the vehicle so as to point in a new direction when the front wheels descended.

All of this would be under computer control for safety and for eg parking, the process could be repeated in reverse; applying the torque first to the front pair of wheels.

Today’s invention is more of a straightforward design. Since I couldn’t find any examples of this online, I thought it would be worth including.

It consists of a shelving unit with boxes arranged to mirror the layout of the Periodic Table. This might be most easily achieved as an IKEA hack.

Label each of the boxes appropriately and you can tell your kids ‘Your lunchbox is in Californium’.

Other suggestions include:
–fill with copies of journals in a periodicals library.
–lie it flat, cover with glass and you have a Periodic (Coffee) Table.

I love the exuberance and controlled craziness of drag racing.

Today’s invention is a new event. Cars would arrive at the start line, having already warmed their tyres with a traditional burnout.

Each would then have its rear end jacked up, by only a couple of cm, allowing a fixed period of engine revving with wheels in the air.

The driver would be required to choose the best speed and acceleration of the drive wheels to launch faster than his opponent when both sets of jacks were lowered at the same instant, dropping the spinning tyres into sudden contact with the tarmac.

Yeeeahah!

People who wear hooded coats often have difficulty in looking left and right when crossing the street. It’s possible to turn one’s head inside the hood and then step off the kerb into the path of an oncoming vehicle.

Today’s invention is to equip hoods with transparent side sections as shown. This enables the wearer to see clearly through the hood using more of their peripheral vision -and thus detecting cars more easily.

To make this more acceptable to young males, a set of shark’s teeth, or other appropriate decoration, could be applied.

Today’s invention is a modification to the envelope.

I’ve noticed that, when carrying one of these to the postbox in the rain, by the time I get there, the address is often smudged and indecipherable.

Instead, I propose an envelope with a closing flap which is longer than usual. When it is full, the flap can be bent over and sealed along a gummed strip (white), as usual. This then lies over the address, protecting it during its rainy transit.

At the postbox, the extra length of flap is ripped off using the serration indicated, exposing the address (and maintaining the sealed flap in place).

It’s often said that when a motorcyclist gets a leather suit, gloves and boots on they feel protected and this allows them to ride less carefully.

If they were riding nude, my guess is that they would be driving everywhere at under 30mph.

Today’s invention is a set of stick-on patches for a novice rider’s leathers (perhaps required by law for learners).

These would be transparent and allow the insertion of a photo print of the underlying section of a particular rider’s body. (I’d suggest that patches be applied to elbows and knees, which a rider can see in transit -although being exhibitionist, individuals might choose also to apply such patches to other parts of their anatomies eg those with particularly fine tattoos).

Being made constantly aware of their underlying, vulnerable skin surfaces would have the effect of causing people to take more care.