Category: Whimsical inventions

Today’s invention is a product name designed to make it easier for target customers to buy.

“Lebod Code Rebedy” would have the desired effect for sufferers from rhinovirus.

Today’s invention is an answerphone that cuts in immediately the phone begins to ring.

It says, “Hi, If I don’t answer in the next three rings, call me later.”

This would be particularly useful for people, like me, with only one receiver located on a different floor of the house, and who don’t want to listen to their phone ringing apparently forever.

It would also relieve me of the dangerous compulsion to leap up and sprint downstairs in an attempt to get to the phone -only for it to stop ringing just before I can pick it up.

The space shuttle had solid rocket boosters and airforce jets have had drop tanks for 50+ years -so the concept of dumping surplus weight (and drag) when in flight is very well established.

Today’s invention extends that to engines. Most airliners can cruise quite efficiently and safely using only two of their four engines (once takeoff has been completed).

The idea would be to use all four jets to gain altitude and then jettison the outer two. This would greatly decrease the weight of the vehicle but most importantly the drag would be similarly cut, allowing the plane to fly very much farther (if slower) using its usual fuel load.

The dropped engines would have parachutes and transponders attached, enabling their recovery and reuse. A small retained fuel supply could even be used to fire the falling engine up just before landing, in order to provide a retro-thrust effect and cushion the impact.

When the newly 2-engined plane landed, it would be refitted with another two temporary propulsion units during turnaround.

(If this is too hair-raising to be seriously considered, how about mounting an engine or two beneath the fuselage so that they could be withdrawn from the airstream, like the undercarriage is?)

Today’s invention is a new way to reuse any old radio telescopes that happen to be lying around.

Their dished shape and size would make them ideal as skateboard parks.

An even newer twist would be to program their movement so as to slowly oscillate and rotate; challenging even the most skilled exponents of the sport.

I like the idea of minimising weight by reusing one functional element as another. With this in mind, consider the enormous cost of sending each kg of matter into space.

Any equipment which has been used aboard eg a manned spacecraft, but which is not needed for the flight back, may well be dumped in space to burn up on re-entry. Today’s invention is an alternative approach.

A kiln made of ceramic tiles is engineered on the underside of a re-entry vehicle. Before descent, this is filled from inside the craft with any metal which would otherwise be jettisoned.

This material is melted and forced into moulds within the craft.

This might allow the vehicle to take off with no undercarriage and build one for itself before landing.

Today’s invention is a stupid river crossing using stunt driving and hopelessly elaborate technology (but I can’t help feeling there’s a good idea somewhere in there ;).

To get a car across a river:
Lock the coil in the position shown in the top part of the image and drive down it fast enough to loop the loop, stopping carefully before crashing into the door on the mid-stream end (think Italian Job).

Engage reverse gear so that the vehicle stays still and the coil threads its way across to the other side.

Lock the coil in place on the far bank and repeat the looping drive (this time forwards) before exiting through the end hatch.

Toilet brushes should really be banned on public health grounds.

Today’s invention is an alternative.

It takes the form of a directable nozzle fitted within the toilet bowl.

After an initial sluice from the cistern, as nornmal, this nozzle directs subsequent water flows to clean up the toilet locally, using a rollerball-type mouse on the cistern. Obviously, this would be impregnated with antibacterial agent.

A luxury version of the idea would be steerable, completely hands-off, using one’s smartphone.

How cool will it be when we are able to land astronauts on the surface of an asteroid?

There is, of course, no chance of a splashdown and performing a retrorocket descent is both risky and so 1969.

Today’s invention is therefore an asteroid landing strip which forms a continuous loop around the pseudo-spherical surface.

In the absence of air drag, friction between the wheels and the strip surface would bring any de-orbiting lander to a halt after perhaps half a dozen circuits.

It seems that ants will naturally gather debris to build a mini stockade around any especially nice food that is too large to cart off in a single piece.

Today’s invention is an enhancement to a robot vacuum cleaner. An ant farm is attached to the cleaner and a nozzle gives the ants access to the carpet.

Periodically, a piece of sugar (red) is dropped onto the carpet or flooring inside the nozzle.

Ants stream onto the floor and extract debris from the carpet surface to build their barricade.

After a while, the vacuum cleaner will move to suck up the ants’ collected dirt -thus enhancing the action of the cleaner.