Category: Feasible inventions

Hypertext is all very well but it can be pretty hard to follow any kind of narrative message when you click on a word somewhere in a paragraph and get transported to a whole new webpage -or even a completely different site.

To help avoid this disorientation, today’s invention is an alternative. Clicking on a link within a body of verbage would simply cause the linked-to material to be substituted, by insertion, where the word used to be (perhaps in a contrasting colour). This would be effectively in-page word processing via Javascript.

The insertion might be a definition, an image or a short section of additional explanation (It might even be a translation into a different language or a kids’-vocabulary version). This whole level of functionality could be switched on or off in the browser of course.

I swear iPod Nano is a character in a Douglas Adams book.

Anyway, these bijoux items now come with accelerometers on board…cutesy, but I’m not sure how valuable the functionality actually is.

Today’s invention is the DancePod, a personal network of iPods worn on the limbs, body and head. These are aware of the music being listened to and can sense how coordinated and in-time to that music one’s body movements are. The system will monitor one’s dancing prowess/effort over time and make comments such as ‘are you really sure about Hip-Hop?’

The system could be used to assess dancers (or even divers) quantitatively in competitions.

When a shredding machine has done its thing, fragments of paper from a single document remain adjacent within the resulting binned material. This makes easier the task of anyone attempting, later, to piece the original together.

To enhance the security of the shredding process, today’s invention effectively shuffles the incoming papers. This would be achieved by having an internal chamber into which some shredded material would be diverted every so often. The next, and presumably related, sheets would then be shredded and fed direct to the final bin. No unshredded material would be kept within the system.

After a while (say after every 10 few pages), the diverted fragments would be binned, so that the bin contents would be more effectively disordered.

My domestic refuse collection is based on three separate bins, each of which has to be emptied at a different frequency (some every two weeks, some every week). Throw into the situation public holidays, which seem to shift the rota by a day (sometimes) and you can imagine how confused I am (not to mention mired in unremoved rubbish).

Today’s invention is therefore a simple battery powered lamp with a timer attached. Each year, the council would supply a list of rubbish collection dates which would be entered into the timer (ideally from a passing council operative’s bluetooth phone).

When a given bin requires to be moved onto the street for emptying, the attached lamp is illuminated.

(Or. the binmen could just do what they used to and wheel the bins out themselves).

People have garden parties and outside events in the Summer months. Doing this in a grassy area such as a lawn can be hard work, especially in a climate where showers are common and stillettos tend to sink in.

Today’s invention is a form of temporary decking which consists of numerous planks of recycled high-density plastic foam, hinged together to make a kind of rolled-up spiral tank track. This can be rolled off a vehicle and sections joined at the sides to cover a large area.

In order not to damage the underlying grass, each plank has a set of dispersed feet which hold it a few cm above the ground. For decking that needs to be in place all summer, each plank would be equipped underneath with a number of small, daylight-emitting lamps. These could be made to shine in accordance with the normal diurnal cycle. For extra lawn protection, the planks might carry a sprinkler system -spraying water downwards only when a natural shower was occurring.

I’m often irritated by drivers of diesel vehicles who seem to think it’s a good idea to leave their engine running for ages when parked.

These things are left idling by taxi and delivery drivers for all sorts of old-wives’-tale reasons (sometimes just to keep their vehicle heaters operating on a cold day). The fact is that they pump out huge amounts of toxins, particulates and noise that I really don’t need.

So, today’s invention is a simple switch which cuts off the fuel supply to a diesel engine left idling for more than a couple of minutes.

It’s fairly common, when driving into a village, to have the speed of one’s vehicle detected and for that to result in an electronic sign illuminating with the words ‘Slow Down!”.

Today’s invention is a modifiaction of such a system. Every time someone uses the pedestrian crossing in a village, an image of the user is captured and sent to the display screens on the entrance roads.

Passing motorists then get shown not just a slow down request but a visual indication of the individual people who may be at risk if they don’t.

Smells create and retrieve memories very effectively (as do books).

Today’s invention is a scented strip of paper that is sewn into a book so that the reader comes to associate the smell with the story. Expensive hardbacks e.g. might have the unique odour of ancient libraries built into them.

Each chapter might have a different scent, enhancing the value of the physical book in this digital age.

I’m always in search of new ways to go out in the rain without getting soaked.

Today’s invention is a different umbrella which has a hexagonal shape when ‘up.’ These brollies have zips on the edges so that they can be conveniently joined together -forming a kind of testudo arrangement. This allows a couple or a small family group, for example, to walk together under several umbrellas and not be separated by a series of small waterfalls.

This might also require that the handles be extendable to different lengths so that youngsters can partly support the weight of their own.