#1337: Wirewords

Today’s invention is a flexible, cheap way to make large-scale written notices.

Units such as those on the left of the diagram can be attached to a pegboard-type background in a variety of layouts (including that of the seven-segment arrangement shown on the right).

A wire, cable or tube is looped around these units, either through the hidden or visible side of each.

This allows words to be spelled out using a continuous section of high contrast rope etc. (much more convenient than searching in a box of preformed characters for that missing ‘X’).

#1336: SpeakerSpacing

It seems the guidelines for optimal placement of one’s speakers in a room are reasonably straightforward.

Today’s invention is a pair of speakers which are set on movable stands. The speakers can be driven vertically upwards and downwards and the stands are also mobile, being driven across the floor by onboard motors.

The system comes equipped with a remote control unit (containing a wifi transmitter). Sit down, holding this facing the speakers, in your listening chair and they will automatically dispose themselves adaptively to suitable positions and heights (relative to the corners of the room, the listener and each other).

The remote allows the selection of different test music and also fine tuning of speaker location/orientation.

#1335: Mufflemuzzle

Today’s invention is a silencer for that neighbourhood dog whose owner is unable to stop it barking all the time.

Since each dog has a pretty characteristic and consistent nuisance-bark wavelength, this would take the form of a simple muffler device with a resonator chamber which would be adjustable in length to allow cancellation of that particular animal’s bark.

At night, the dog would wear a muzzle fitted with a silencer of this type made of lightweight plastic material.

#1334: Secureslice

Today’s invention is a new way to slice a loaf of bread.

Every other cut would be replaced by one which fell short of cutting through the bottom and one side of the loaf.

This would result in the creation of many double-thickness slices, each of which acts as a two-sided pocket.

This allows for easier sandwich making (and eating, since the contents could not drop out of the bottom). Each slice would also still be thin enough to just fit within a standard toaster.

#1333: DigiDial

I have just seen one of the latest Breitling wristwatches: a mechanical masterpiece with an electronic display but with a dial that looks designed by someone who works on fast food packaging or maybe matchboxes.

Today’s invention is a dial in the form of a digital display fitted to high-end mechanical watches. This would allow a user to choose an alternative backdrop to the clockwork-driven hands from a very large number of combinations of colour, numeral size and font etc.

This would provide effectively a whole new look every day and add extra value to a very expensive piece of machinery/jewellery.

#1332: Slurpstop

Breast-fed children get to decide themselves when they have had enough but bottle-using parents tend to keep feeding their child until the bottle is empty. This is thought to contribute to obesity and maybe even to developing diabetes.

Today’s invention is therefore a bottle which disguises the amount of formula milk left during a feed (until actually empty). It does this by being opaque and slightly heavier than usual but also by incorporating a sealed compartment part-filled with water.

This makes it difficult for a parent to judge how much milk remains (without removing the top) so that the baby can have more say in when to stop drinking.

#1331: Eccentricones

Today’s invention is an autonomous central barrier on a motorway -except that it’s not central.

Sensors count cars moving in either direction and adjust the barrier’s lateral position (a set of linked, mobile robot cones, shown in red) so that whichever side of the road currently has the bigger traffic flow gets the wider carriageway.

This smooths the movement of vehicles and reduces any tendency to tailbacks and jams.

#1330: ChopperSwopper

The twin-rotor Chinook helicopter is a remarkable design. If anyone suggested having two sets of counter-rotating interleaved rotor blades they might well be criticised for optimism bordering on naivete…my speciality, in fact.

Today’s invention is a Chinook upgrade in which each rotor blade engages its outer end with the distal rotor hub, driving that hub’s rotors around until it slows enough so that that end then becomes the inner end of the blade rotating about the distal hub.

This stresses each blade more evenly and lessens the overall sweep of the blades as shown in the diagram -in which the helicopter is flying up the page. The single blade shown swaps from hub to hub, providing drive for one rotor from the other without any need for a drive shaft (difficult, but not impossible to achieve).

#1329: Tardisub

I know that submariners are supposed to be made of stern stuff but today’s invention is a low-tech way to help improve their living conditions.

Interior designers aren’t supposed to be made of stern stuff, but they do know about how to make small spaces seem much bigger. One way is by using mirrors.

Today’s invention is to fit mirrors (plastic, impact-safe ones would be fine) to the inside surfaces of some bulkheads and cabinets on board submarines. Although the Captains Nemo wouldn’t necessarily want to view their stubble close-up, the occasional reflective patch would provide much better light distribution and an increased sense of space for people in cramped conditions.

(I imagine a windowless Mars-bound spaceship would benefit similarly).

#1328: Chewver

I often use a vacuum cleaner to clean up rubble and nails etc when I’m working on house restoration. I hate it when something gets stuck in the hose and I have to dismantle the whole thing to deal with the problem.

Today’s invention is a device which fits on the end of a vacuum cleaner hose (the hose should be made translucent, so you can see what’s happening inside, but that’s another story). The device has slightly smaller diameter than the hose itself, so any potential blockage will occur at the inlet.

When the system detects an increase in motor load due to choking, it activates a set of internal jaws which hammer backwards and forwards ‘chewing’ the plug into fragments small enough to be ‘swallowed’. These are driven by a motor powered by a cable from the cleaner body.

The jaws would be located more than a finger’s length from the inlet. If after multiple chewing motions, the motor load had not decreased, then the motor would be automatically switched off, to allow manual clearance.