Home Archive by category "Whimsical inventions" (Page 2)

Category: Whimsical inventions

#2817: Irreversibilitext

Many writers have discovered that the use of pen and paper, or even a typewriter, is somehow superior to a word processor.

Whilst the latter is super convenient and allows easy redrafting, maybe this actually presents a problem.

Writing some things in pen removes the ability easily to delete and refresh them…There is something about the irreversibility of ink that requires a commitment from the writer and so the limited opportunity for editing results in higher quality communication.

Today’s invention is therefore a wordpress plug-in or word processing programme that disallows any deletion of text.

#2816: Replinthing

Today’s invention is inspired by this digital artist.

If there is a statue in your town depicting someone who is now deemed politically incorrect, simply
a) perform a laser scan of the statue
b) use that to design a thin shell which might be clipped together over the offending statue.

This shell, which could be pre-weathered to have a patina of age, could portray someone who is a more modern hero, until they too become unacceptable, for some reason.

#2811: Accelink

Tank tracks are very heavy and moving them about at speed is costly.

Today’s invention aims to reduce the weight of a tank’s tracks by almost 50%.

At any instant, the tank wheels stand on tracks in contact with the ground as normal.

As a track link rises past the rear idler wheel, it disconnects and is accelerated along a track (blue) from there to the drive sprocket at the front. There, it couples itself, in the manner of a train carriage, to the link which is just about to leave the sprocket.

In this way, there is only ever one track link on the top half of the track.

#2796: Odourescue

Humans have a stereo sense of smell that subconsciously guides navigation. Who knew?

Today’s invention attempts to make use of this fact for explorers, soldiers or anyone navigating an unknown environment without a map.

If the explorer needed to find water or fruit or the sea or human habitation, in an emergency, they would don a pair of goggles containing two pipes: one running to each nostril from each side of the goggles.

This would provide enhanced stereo smell capability (just as artillery range finders do for stereo vision).

They would then calmly feel which direction to take and this would improve their chances of reaching safety significantly.

#2783: Ktwotower

I feel a bit sorry for people who climb K2 but never reach the highest point on the Earth’s surface.

Today’s invention allows them to climb higher than Everest.

It takes the form of a giant weather balloon, carried deflated. Since the atmosphere is so thin at 8000m+, only a small amount of gas from the oxygen bottles already carried would allow such a balloon to go aloft (on a reasonably good weather day).

Climbers would pay out 250m of rope as the balloon rose. This would have many loops attached of the type that mountaineers already use on rock climbs.

Using these, a climber could, under his/own steam, complete K2 with a final climb to a height greater than that of Everest.

#2776: RaceFace

Racing drivers make a brave attempt to promote their personal ‘brand’ at every possible opportunity.

This is thwarted a bit by having to wear a helmet which hides their face.

Some of the ‘special’ helmet designs are seriously ugly and most are almost unrecognisable, especially with the drivers seated so low in their cars.

Today’s invention seeks to help poor, underexposed racing drivers. It consists, for each driver, of a large scale caricature made of skin-coloured foam rubber, stuck on the outside of their helmet.

This avoids obscuring their view any more than the various visors and cages currently do.

It also allows the crowd to recognise drivers by their face so that whatever they are selling, in the paddock, or on TV gets better identified with them as a personality.

#2772: SoundSteps

People are highly attuned to sensory cues. This means that they are influenced, at an unconscious level, by things they see or hear.

Today’s invention is to equip a pair of boots with a speaker system which is connected to pressure sensors in the soles.

As each foot hits the deck, the corresponding speaker issues a recorded footstep sound. This allows someone to send the subliminal message that they are much heavier than their normal tread would suggest.

I could imagine eg a small security guard in rubber shoes wanting to communicate that he had a massive body supported by hobnailed boots. Or perhaps an actor on stage would want to emphasise a simulated limp or the noise of walking through mud.

#2745: SuckerStickers

I don’t think much of vacuum cleaners: even the best suffer from avoidable design flaws.

Dysons have all the usual shortfalls, as well as some of their own and they cost £200 more than their rivals.

Maybe I dislike them most because Mr Dyson persists in mythologising about the utility of intellectual property for inventors.

Anyway, today’s invention is an attempt to introduce some levity into the somewhat self-regarding world of Dyson hoovers.

It’s a set of stick-on aftermarket facial features for Dysons (to make them look more like Henrys)…and convert them into James; a rather ponsified, know-it-all character who employs other, menial cleaners to deal with the actual dirt.

#2739: WaveWing

There is something very romantic about the old idea of driving your classic Porsche 911 to the beach with a surfboard on the roof.

Porsches have, over the 50 years of the 911’s history, been fitted with some enormous inverted wings.

Today’s invention is therefore a surfboard which can be carried on your sportscar (laterally) but which acts as a detachable downforce wing, when the car is in motion.