#393: SatelliteDial

I won’t get started on what’s wrong with TV…but it seems to me that satellite TV is even worse, consisting as it does of lots of the content that got rejected from the mediocre terrestrial portfolio. Not only that, but satellite dishes really don’t add much to the aesthetic appeal of houses to which they get attached (I was recently shocked to find one lurking on the back face of my chimney, left there by a previous owner with a subscription to Sky Sports -I know this because I continue to get post advertising all their ‘great new packages.’)

Anyway, today’s invention is a downloadable template which, when placed on someone’s satellite dish, allows them to spray paint a pattern on it. This consists of the markings required to make the dish act as a sundial.


The paint would be chosen so as to match the house colourscheme and the template for any given house would be calculated based on the precise direction in which a particular dish should be pointing to receive maximal signal strength.

When people eventually realise that TV is futile, the whole thing can be swung into a vertical orientation to act as a birdbath.

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