#1654: Discrubber

Long ago, storing stuff on optical media seemed like such a good idea.

But the disks are much more fragile than promised and the software for correcting the effects of surface damage is markedly less than perfect.

Today’s invention is an addition to the existing arm which carries the lens over the surface of a DVD or CD (remember CDs?)

Before accessing data on the disk, the lens would undertake a number of radial passes as the disk was rotated (with the lens covered). It would thus detect any areas of surface damage.

At these points, a replaceable buffing pad would be made to contact the disk and oscillated radially backwards and forwards, with the disk still, until the largest surface damage had been smoothed out.

No more random scrubbing with the corner of my old T shirt in the middle of a climactic scene.

#1653: SaveSpot

I tend to save a lot of files on my desktop. That visual metaphor is very useful for me (in a way that some symbolic, hierarchical, file pathway, abstract structure thingy is just not).

The trouble is that when I save stuff, it ends up in some random location.

Today’s invention is therefore a program which, when you select ‘save’ fires up a small image of the desktop allowing you to click the desired location.

#1652: Fluidfont

Optimising the layout of text for readability, still centres on the spacing of fixed-shape letters along a line (kerning)…a hangover from the days of lead typefaces.

Today’s invention is to ignore the fixed shapes of characters in a typeface.

After each space is typed, the letters in the preceding word undergo a ‘squirming’ process, like the self-organisation which soldiers on parade perform when they are ordered eg to ‘dress right.’ They look at their neighbours and attempt to form a locally straight line (so that a globally-straight rank emerges).

Each character would have its components slightly shifted (on-screen) so as to boost the contrast of the word it’s in.

There is no algorithm for guaranteeing optimality, but in practice, printed components would be alternately thickened and separated (in at least the vertical and horizontal directions).

Once squirming had produced an improvement in word contrast of say 20%, or a time limit was exceeded, the next word would be squirmed.

#1651: Multitracks

One of the many problems with tracked vehicles is their behaviour when turning corners. A huge amount of scraping of track on ground occurs when changing direction.

Tanks, for example, when traveling on roads or fields, churn the surface up significantly -making all subsequent travel more difficult and angering local landowners.

Today’s invention attempts to lessen this by creating tracks in independent strips. Each strip is driven by its own sprocket wheel which is powered in turn by a separate differential.

This allows subtracks to move at differing rates (as shown by the shades of blue). The effect is much better grip, less surface damage and potentially greater resistance to attack (since each subtrack can be destroyed without causing immobilisation).

#1650: Pedalever

Bicycles again. Just because extensible cranks are staples of the perpetual motion brigade, doesn’t mean they aren’t useful.

Today’s invention is a set of extensible crank arms for a bicycle.

The right crank is shown as telescoping outwards on the downstroke to provide a greater turning effect. The left one is shown having withdrawn to normal length -to allow the pedals not to hit the ground.

Controlling this lengthening might be done using a cam on the frame or, more simply, by allowing the power stroke to push the pedal outwards and having an internal, longitudinal spring return it on the upstroke.

The riding action would be a little more asymmetric than normal, but the effect on hillclimbing would be significant.

#1649: SelfStream

People don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom nearly as frequently as they should.

Part of the reluctance, I reckon, may be to do with having to grab hold of taps which have just been handled by someone who is only marginally cleaner (having at least used the taps).

Push button taps allow you to get water and avoid touching the tap a second time, but their automated stop wastes a lot of post-wash water. Similar proximity switch versions are complex and fragile.

For added hygiene, today’s invention is a tap which is switched on and off under the water outlet.

In this way, the tap itself is always kept clean and can be closed immediately handwashing is complete (and rinsed by the last of the falling water).

#1648: MailEmail

Home delivery of goods and services is just not keeping up with the Internet era.

It’s just not good enough for couriers to demand that people stay inside all day to take receipt of items (or that they have to provide a giant metal box to store them).

Today’s invention is a system to be fitted to delivery vans to help receivers predict delivery.

The system starts the day with a list of postcodes for parcels on board each van.

As a GPS sensor detects that the van has come within say 30 minutes of a packet’s destination (taking into account the time required to make the intermediate drop-offs), an email is automatically sent to the householder in question so that they can arrange to be in at the predicted time.

If no acknowledegment is received by the vehicle in transit, it will divert to another delivery destination and may try again later.

#1647: Hiterature

When using an e-reader, people in the vicinity have no idea about your taste in reading (since they lack a book’s descriptive dustjacket or paperback).

In some circumstances it’s not to the reader’s advantage -in that people may want to strike up a conversation about the text in question.

Today’s invention is therefore a small, flip-down mirror with reflects the on-screen title (after inverting it). This can be slotted onto one’s device as an invitation to talk about the book in question or a subtle statement about your taste in literature.

If you are surrounded by people you want to chat to, simply keep the device in the up position (thus it acts as a potential dating introduction device, just as books used to).

#1646: Loyaltyre

I’m always incensed, after paying £60 for a tank of fuel, to find that the garage airline either doesn’t work, or tries to charge me for using it (20p used to be bad enough but it’s now 50p ‘minimum vend’ -inflation?)

Does anyone carry a variety of change in their vehicle?

No wonder large numbers of people are driving around on under-inflated tyres.

Today’s invention is a simple modification to the air machine on forecourts. It’s a reader, embedded in the compressor housing, which can recognise how many points are on your loyalty card, once inserted, and dispense air accordingly.

This would be another reason to visit a particular supermarket garage and it would also make driving a bit less hazardous for everyone.

#1645: AvianAgents

Once an individual is unkind to a pigeon, their face is never forgotten.

Even chasing pigeons once can be shown to cause them to recall your face (Crows are known to react in a similar way, except they tend to form a gang and attack any human against whom they hold such a grudge).

Today’s invention is an anti-terrorist system, based on the above.

An accurate 3-D mask would be made of a known terrorist’s face, based on surveillance and press pictures.

This would then be worn by eg a security guard who would then scare away a set of say five birds. These birds would then be allowed to walk/fly around within eg airport buildings.

Each pigeon would be equipped with a small camera which would take a picture of anyone from whom the bird suddenly shied away and send this back for scrutiny by security staff.