Home Articles posted by Patrick Andrews (Page 2)

#2909: CheckCar’d

I’ve just read the Formula 1 technical rulebook for cars.

Personally, I think they should just set a financial limit for each team and then stand well back. The lawyers have destroyed much of the glamour in racing with their technically-ignorant nitpicking.

Today’s invention is simply to apply the now common rental car body scanning technology to race cars.

Each vehicle could be prepared, rapidly scanned and its dimensions automatically compared to the regulations. Cars which failed to meet spec would be required to be changed.

This would save an enormous amount of engineer time and lessen the chances of a nasty post-race challenge.

#2908: WarWare

When military equipment is captured, an enemy can get access to information about those weapons systems that renders them more vulnerable to attack.

This is true of both hardware and software.

Today’s invention is a program which, when a weapon is about to be captured, allows a crew member to wipe all of the software on board and replace it with an obscured, misleading, booby-trapped and/or out of date version.

This would be synchronised with some self-destruct charges that are designed to be only partially effective, so that the overrun weapon’s systems will still be accessible for interrogation and re-engineering.

A version could be developed which, when connected to an interrogator’s network, undertook a counterattack by viruses etc.

#2907: BoVine

When I travel, I sometimes use tear-open milk tubes.

Today’s invention is just a cute new way to market these, by forming an array of four such packets as if they were a cow’s udder.

This might amuse buyers, provide the manufacturer with an additional intangible asset and create an opportunity for higher value per sale.

#2906: Semitrain

Today’s invention is a monorail train which makes use of existing track.

This would have rollers, to fit either side of the rail and probably be gyro-stabilised (it worked in 1909, so the technology is proven).

This would provide for vehicles with much lower drag (being somewhere around half as wide as conventional trains, based on the wagon designs of prehistory).

The main benefit would be that it effectively doubles the amount of track available.

Since trains can be increased in length, with only a small penalty when loading at platforms of current size, this offers both a huge increase in the capacity of a rail network as well as allowing the vehicles to move more rapidly and provide passengers with a less restricted view.

Points switching would need to be timed, so that two trains could avoid a simultaneous change in direction which was not required.

#2905: SpaceScratcher

NASA take astronaut comfort pretty seriously, since an annoying facial itch during a spacewalk could seriously degrade concentration and thus safety.

They have been looking for an improvement on the current technology which astronauts use to scratch their faces inside their helmets. This consists of a pad covered in velcro that they can brush their face against.

Today’s invention is an adaptation of the magnetic window cleaners used in high buildings.

It would have a ptfe coating on both inside and outside magnets (beige) so as not to scratch the visor. There would be a parked position which would allow the magnets to be clipped during eg takeoff. The prong used to contact the face could have several different heads, each with a different texture and springiness. These could be selected simply by rotating the exterior magnet.

Such a system might be adapted for regional itches elsewhere under the suit itself.

#2904: BarrelBender

Modern tanks tend to have main gun barrels which are coated in thermal lagging.

This material is intended to protect the weapon from small differences in temperature (as might be caused by being parked under a desert sun). The resulting barrel deflection can cause serious inaccuracy when the gun is fired.

Today’s invention offers a way to attack such a tank so as to disable the thermal lagging, and render the machine largely useless, but without harming the crew.

A low velocity shell, containing a thermite core (of the type used in hand grenades or incendiaries) and a large number of eg ball bearings, would be fired at the front of the turret.

As a means of tank destruction, this would be completely futile, but the shrapnel would shred the thermal lagging and the thermite would then damage the exposed gun barrel, by intense, local heating.

#2903: Slumberoller

I have trouble sleeping if there is any noise in the background.

Fortunately, there are noise cancelling headphones which make me largely unaware of any such disturbances.

Sleeping whilst wearing such over-ear devices is difficult, though, since rolling onto one’s side immediately puts a strain on the neck and you wake up (and the headphones dislodge).

Today’s invention is a modification to a set of such headphones so that you can stay asleep whilst moving in bed.

The original headphones are shown in turquoise with a teal overhead strap.

These now fit inside an inflatable (green) helmet which supports sleeping on either side and also allows the wearer to roll onto their back, without discomfort or losing the headphones.

Ventilation slots are provided so that the sleeper can avoid overheating.

#2902: PalatePellet

Mouthguards can be difficult to keep pristine, whether used in sports or as defence against teeth grinding during sleep.

Today’s invention is a slight modification to mouthguards.

This involves moulding in a small recess with an easy-to-clean flap as lid.

Before putting the guard into the mouth, a small, slow release tablet (containing a mild disinfectant and flavouring) is inserted below the flap.

This helps to freshen the breath and make the whole affair a bit more pleasant.

#2901: HoiStop

Today’s invention is a safety mechanism designed to protect all those of us who have been tempted to overload eg an engine hoist.

Instead of relying on the fading painted load markings on the arm, imagine if the arm could incorporate a torque wrench break mechanism. Try to lift something within say 10% of the safe limit and the torque wrench would ‘give’ making the characteristic click.

Electronic, or cam-over wrench designs could be employed to ensure that the lifting actually stops when the click is heard.

#2900: MemoryMesh

Camouflaging stationary tanks and equipment is difficult, especially when you have to rely on scrim netting. This is horribly subject to snagging when dragged over the protrusions on a vehicle or a field gun.

Today’s invention is a simpler solution comprising an auxetic sheet material which changes, when stretched, from a smooth, flat sheet, to a self-supporting, 3D mesh structure.

This can be easily flattened, rolled up and stowed like a tarpaulin when the vehicle is deployed.

If you need to hide, the sheet can be dragged to a highpoint and then pulled down in several directions.

The sheet expands and covers whatever is necessary, obscuring it from view, but enabling a tank crew beneath still to make observations and target weapons.

When a rapid movement is ordered, the sheet can be released and walked inward to the high point. The continuous sheet is easy to then roll up without nearly so many snags and helped by the elastic spring-back of these materials.