#2372: PassengerPress

Today’s invention is a new way to pack people aboard passenger jets, which might gladden the hearts of the board of Ryanair (if they had any).

This consists of a huge number of vertical boards equipped with a small foldable desk and a display (yellow). These are stationary and fitted with an inflatable mattress on the front side.


An additional set of blue boards can be moved along guiderails and locked in position against a passenger, so that their face protrudes through a porthole which is movable vertically.

These would each have an inflatable mattress too, so that passengers are comfortably sandwiched.

The mattresses could be supplied with a continuous flow of air, the temperature of which would be regulated by the occupant.

This arrangement would allow people to sleep standing up, avoid deep vein thromboses and be much more densely packed than when sitting conventionally.

#2371: StatueWet

Today’s invention offers a way to help ensure that statues don’t get sprayed with graffiti.

A statue would be made with a water pipe terminating at the top of the statue’s head.


This would be supplied via a pump at a rate that allowed a continuous, laminar flow of water to move down over the stone/metal surface.

An almost invisible, slow moving water film could be maintained by texturing the statue surface and by slow rotation of the supply nozzle in the head.

This would make any misguided attempt to apply paint extremely difficult.

#2370: ZipPairing

I’m regularly driven to distraction when trying to close up my coat in a sudden rainstorm.

The main difficulty is that the moving zip part (carriage?) and the retainer get misaligned and/or separated by even a small amount.


This makes it impossible to insert the other side of the zip properly, thus causing me to have to bend over and watch what I’m doing in some detail.

Today’s invention is a pair of small magnets to remedy this situation (shown in yellow).

Simply moving the zipper down as far as it will go will automatically attach and align the zip and retainer, allowing the wearer to avoid spending crucial seconds getting wet.

#2369: FuseBuses

It’s common to see buses travelling slowly side by side in city streets or parked in parallel.

Public transport is increasingly used to advertise movies, so that all the buses in a given district will carry the same adverts.


Today’s invention is therefore to apply a stereo pair of images to the back face of buses -to advertise a 3D version of some forthcoming movie.

People watching these vehicles would be able to cross their eyes a little, fuse these images and see a stereo advert.

This could be enhanced by applying the images to buses known to pass each other on certain regular routes.

#2368: Annulift

Contra-rotating propellers are a neat idea in that they they can be arranged to generate no reactive torque when the blades spin up or down (and thus remove the need for a tail rotor, in the case of a helicopter).

One problem, however, is that the turbulence created by the upper set tends to disrupt the lift efficiency of the lower set.


Today’s invention attempts to lessen that problem by having one collection of blades which consists only of an outer(upper) length and another set which are shorter (and slightly lower), as shown.

The outer set’s speed and size can be chosen so that the best possile combination of lift and balance is obtained.

#2367: TasterTill

I can’t be the only person who finds self-checkouts intimidating.

It’s not just the hectoring tone of voice -every store that has these uses a radically different interface. All of them are confusing and ugly with no sense of process built in (Look at all the green boxes in the photo). Frequently, they require interventions by the few human store staff left, just to correct the inevitable errors.


Assuming that retail chains have invested such huge sums that these systems can’t be fixed or scrapped, today’s invention is a simple online training simulator.

Each different type of machine in use could be selected by a customer in advance of going to a particular store. The website would reproduce all the ridiculous interactive elements -including the noises.

This would make mildly Aspergers people like me, who get overwhelmed by the horrible, illogical detail, slightly better prepared.

#2366: Divairsion

If you are an airforce tasked with enforcing a no-fly zone, or if you need to intercept a plane without destroying it, your options are currently limited.

Today’s invention is an unmanned aerial vehicle which might help.


This is capable of flying at great speed and with none of the manoeuvring restrictions imposed by a flesh-and-blood crew.

The aircraft would approach and attach itself across one of the control surfaces of the target plane (probably using small harpoons and a number of high-tensile wire lassos).

It would then fire a retro rocket, causing both craft to slow significantly and allowing other such interceptors to catch up and latch on to flaps or ailerons.

Their coordinated activity would allow the target plane to be directed away from its current course and forced to make an emergency landing onto eg a nearby body of water (or a remote runway using the UAVs’ own wheels).

In this way, interesting military secrets could be obtained or terrorists thwarted, without loss of life.

#2365: UnwrapFlaps

Airliners which have suffered a complete engine failure need all the help they can get.

Today’s invention is a jet engine casing which can unfold as shown and lock into position, forming a significant extra wing area.


In such an emergency, the engine could be jettisoned through the bottom of the nacelle so that a rapid glide back to the runway could be achieved with maximal control.

#2364: CarriageUnder

Today’s invention is an alternative undercarriage for heavy planes.

Rather than the traditional set of three wheels, a single tractor unit is centrally mounted.


This emerges from the belly of the plane when preparing to land. A pilot then controls the landing process from within this vehicle, which is large enough to support the aircraft, once landed, on its own.

Having parked, the vehicle can then be driven off, leaving the plane standing on the central pillar.

The undercarriage vehicle can be stocked with food, fuel etc elsewhere, then return with these supplies and replenish the plane via a lift in the support column.

#2363: SaddleStool

Today’s invention is a bicycle saddle with an elongate saddle post.

When the saddle is removed from the bike, two small posts fold out, forming a tripod.


This allows the bike seat to act as a stable seat…so you can watch as the Tour speeds by.