#1356: QuailMail

Now that we have GPS and relatively cheap UAVs, today’s invention is to unite these technologies to provide peer-to-peer package post.

Fire up your personal UAV quadricopter, and supply it with your friend’s address. Attach a package and the UAV will travel straight to the target postcode using GPS (avoiding trees, buildings and paragliders).

On nearing the destination, it will detect the wifi generated by the recipient’s hub and travel along a line of increasing signal strength until it messages the receiver who will emerge to collect the package.

#1354: LiftLess

Today’s invention is a way to improve the fitness of occupants of a skyscraper or tower block.

At, say, the seventh floor, the lift controls would only allow the lift to be called to travel to floors 9+ say and 4- to stop anyone using it to travel up or down only a small distance (buttons labelled 9,8,7,6,5 and 4 would simply be omitted or covered on that floor).

This would encourage people to make those small journeys via the stairs.

There would need to be a dedicated, keycard-access lift for disabled people in the building.

#1353: Hingebike

I’m always impressed by people who make working technology using junk.

Today’s invention is a bikeframe that can be built using a few planks and a hinge or two.

Three wooden triangles (blue and grey) made of planks, or whatever else is lying around, are bolted together and hinged where they meet (blue/grey interface).

You get some odd handling but your cerebellum will solve the dynamics problem quickly and your wallet will appreciate not having paid out £2k for the latest highly-stealable, magnesium/duralumin, hand forged sculpture from Cremola or whoever.

#1352: Newords

We can only pay attention to a limited range of events -our sensory systems screen out vast amounts of information from conscious experience all the time.

Some folk resort to recording their entire life using movie cameras etc, but frankly, life’s too long for that nonsense.

Today’s invention is therefore a way to keep up with the stuff which happens around you but of which you are unaware at the time.

It consists of a microphone which feeds a big capacity recorder -but between the two a rapid speech recognition algorithm runs. The trick is that only words and phrases which go unrecognised are recorded. In this way, anything unusual, novel, weirdly pronounced, inaudible or said in a foreign language/accent will end up as a significant, cumulative addition to your life record…and can be interrogated later to help you keep apace with developments in a fast moving environment.

Isn’t this how children work, after all, when they are soaking up everything that’s new and interesting -whilst ignoring the commonplace?

#1351: SeeCurity

People get cameras stolen all the time. Today’s invention is a security feature which attempts to make them useless to thieves.

Each digital camera would require that the first picture taken after switch-on was of the owner’s face. It’s relatively easy to make existing on-board face recognition work well when required to know one face reliably. (It might be possible to require snapping something else known only to the owner, such as a particular watch face or a page in a passport).

If the first picture is something else, then the camera would automatically shut down -making the theft of cameras pointless.

#1350: ScoreSheet

In football, controversy rages when it isn’t clear that the ball has crossed the goal line ‘with its full circumference’.

Leaving aside that the ball is unlikely to be exactly spherical when kicked, today’s invention is a low-tech way to remove any such doubts (FIFA is notoriously conservative about the adoption of anything newfangled, even when its absence makes this low-scoring game look ridiculous).

Instead of nets behind goals (which flap and raise more doubts about where the ball actually went) a flat sheet of perspex is fitted exactly one ball diameter behind the line. The sheet is provided with a weatherproof perspex box and coated with eg Vaseline or other waterproof gel (so the action can still be seen from behind the goal).

All this fits into a frame on the goals and would probably be no more expensive than nets anyway.

When a score is in doubt, the referee need only inspect the Vaseline on the sheet for any marks. If there are any, a goal is awarded and a new sheet slotted in.

Two such perspex sheets could be used even in Sunday league games with one sheet being recoated whist the other was in-goal.

#1349: CaraPace

I always admire those people who manage to complete a marathon wearing a styrofoam rhino suit (or equivalent) for charity.

Today’s invention is inspired by this but with a practical edge. Training outside in winter is unpleasant for runners. Here therefore is a light, aerodynamic plastic shell designed to keep the weather off whilst still allowing free arm and leg movement (but without the drag forces associated with running movements).

It achieves this by being attached to the wearer via a cycle helmet (blue). The shell also contains several helium-filled mylar balloons (grey) to further lessen the weight.

There would also need to be vents to regulate internal temperature. The shell itself would be a good place to carry the emblem of your charity of choice of course.

#1348: PriceTag

Today’s invention is a way to make e-commerce more interesting.

Products on display on a website would be capable of repricing themselves in realtime.

Each product entry would monitor the prices of its competitors. If lots were being sold of A’s competitor B, then A’s price would automatically reduce itself.

If stocks of B were running low, then its unit price would rise. Put some B in your shopping basket and A’s price might drop a little to get you to change your mind. 3 A’s in your basket and you might see a price drop of A on the shelf to encourage you to buy another.

Within set limits, this would introduce some interesting price-based jostling and add interactivity to a rather jaded shopping experience.

#1347: Clickselect

When I’m making changes to a document, I want to be able to select individual characters (for deletion or substitution).

Dragging across them with the cursor is nigh-on impossible (and in OpenOffice usually results in moving a large chunk of text to an entirely unexpected location).

Today’s invention is the ability to click in a word processed document thus:

  • One click provides cursor insertion, as usual
  • Two clicks select a character
  • Three select a word
  • Four select a line
  • Five select a paragraph.
  • This would be easy to remember and stays, just about, within the brain’s limits on instantaneous counting.