#726: Perforprinter

I recently read about De Laude Scriptorum, the book written about the art of medieval manual transcription which, ironically, was one of the first publications produced using the printing press.

Intrigued anew by the concept of printing I’ve been thinking about the many different techniques for saving ink…since it’s ink sales upon which the enormous computer printer business is based.

So, why use ink at all? Today’s invention is to create a monochrome printer which is more like a sewing machine. The print head drives a needle to create holes in the paper, the density of which corresponds to the required grey level. Using a matrix of tapered needles, each could be driven through the paper to a different distance, thus creating holes of varying diameter (corresponding to local greyness).

To view the ‘printing’ slip a black sheet of paper under the one being read. This makes use of only one side of the paper but there is no ink cost and the paper itself could be more effectively recycled without having been inked (one could even print conventionally, with ink, on both sides of paper that had been perforprinted previously).

#725: Frostblind

Just type the phrase “tonneau cover” into your favourite search engine and enter a new universe of ingenuity and seriously bad logos. Having recently carved myself a frost blanket for the windscreen on my car from a sheet of aluminised bubblewrap, it occurred to me that a combination of these two artefacts might be valuable.

Today’s invention is therefore a rollerblind which sits in that gap between screen bottom and bonnet lid. When frost is anticipated, the blind is drawn up over the windscreen and clipped in place, covering it.

In the morning, unclipping the screen allows it to spring back into its housing, shedding any ice as it does so, and allowing you to drive off with significantly less de-icing to do.

#724: TextMatch

Team games, such as football, and cricket often have a man-of-the-match award. Today’s invention is a way to update and democratise that process.

People who have bought a ticket for some match using their mobile could, during a game, be allowed to text the shirt numbers of their favourite players on the day, in order of preference, to a telephone number set aside for the purpose.

The preferences could be displayed, in realtime on a screen within the ground, indicating how each player was performing, in the view of the paying public. This might cause managers to make substitutions in response to public opinion and exhort players, low on the scale, to greater efforts.

Such data could even be gathered from match to match and help influence the salary and transfer fees associated with any given player.

Statu Pupillari?

It concerns me that Universities are now being expected to act as sources, sometimes the only sources, of invention. I don’t really see this as their job (which is surely about discovering and communicating new knowledge). The argument runs along the lines of

“We taxpayers spent a huge amount of money on research and so now it’s time that it resulted in lots of jobs.” It doesn’t work like that at all, but many of our politicians act as if it did. Universities, for the most part, screen out inventiveness…it’s very hard to get a draft paper or a grant application through the peer review process (especially when it’s all anonymous and so supports gutless competitive sniping).

One of the most irritating recent developments is that Universities are starting to claim ownership of their students’ intellectual property by default. Let’s leave aside, for the moment, the discussion about whether IP can be meaningfully defined (it’s obviously not the same as other forms of property). I’m hearing stories on campuses about Universities which, when they allow a graduate student to matriculate, assume ownership of everything which they think up during their time at the Institution. Undergraduates aren’t yet included in this process, but they may well soon get trapped too (I just came across this article which says that US Universities demand to own even undergraduate inventions…despite the rates charged by these institutions for access to tuition and facilities. This is bare-faced, short-termist profiteering -Universities don’t make people have ideas).

A student appears, filled with enthusiasm at getting a place on an interesting Master’s or a high profile Doctoral programme. They are routinely asked to sign lots of administrative forms (with no independent guidance). One of these will, either implicitly or in small print, be an agreement that the University owns all their intellectual output until they leave.

The law, in the UK, says that employees have no choice in this. You sign up to get a salary and they own what you create (at least if it’s related to what they pay you for, even if you do it at the weekend). I think that’s unfair but at least it’s clear (and these days, some farsighted employers are beginning to understand that a meaningful revenue sharing scheme is a good way to motivate smart employees). Postdocs? Guess what, you have to do the dirty work with little chance of a real job and they own everything you think up.

Graduate students aren’t employees, however. They don’t in general get a salary, nor do they therefore have employment rights. I was once discussed, in a University committee, as “having ideas incompatible with my status as a research student.” As if there are some modes of thought only accessible to Professors…how patronising. It is true that a graduate student may be sponsored by some business and receive direction and support from an inspiring supervisor. Whenever that’s true, then certainly all parties must share in any profit from the ideas generated. Universities often offer revenue sharing schemes (although the deals on offer look like nothing that anyone would negotiate on their own behalf, being laughably one-sided). They may also provide a measure of protection for graduate students who might be accused of infringement by eg some patent troll or nowinnofee attorney. Inevitably, this would result in an out of court settlement, (ie goodbye IP) since UK universities have always backed down from such litigation.

The real issue I have with this process, which is becoming increasingly common as Universities scrabble to do whatever Government tells them, is not even the sleight of hand at matriculation -it’s the inbuilt assumption that a University can somehow make money from its students’ inventions…that it understands how to…that it has the grit and focus necessary to do so. This is usually fantasy and the financial data on exploitation support this conclusion. That is exactly why certain Universities, the ones with business ability, are now forming their own commercialisation companies, free of academic control.

#723: Ergoview

Laptop use is definitely becoming associated with neck pain, at least with pain in my neck. Typing on my lap means there is no way for the screen to be viewed comfortably, since it requires me to look downwards at an angle.

Today’s invention is an adaptation to existing laptop design consisting of two hinged supports, as shown. These would carry the cabling from the base to the screen and employ the same resistive pivots as a screen normally has.

The new part is really that it allows the screen height and angle to be adjusted independently and over a much greater range than is possible with existing approaches…leading to less craning and joint strain.

#722: Beauforce scale

I once owned an old Mercedes and a corresponding Haynes repair manual that was almost of the same vintage. It caused me great grief that the images in it were of such low quality. Essentially, they seemed to have cut costs by employing the cheapest possible print process, which made it unclear how the smudgy photo I was viewing in any way related to the guts of my ancient auto. Why on earth don’t they just film a DVD as they document each task? That way, you could hear the background grumbling and swearing that always accompanies any kind of maintenance session -a refreshing source of forewarning about the weekend ahead.

Anyway, my theory about DIY car maintenance (who can afford to have a garage do all the work?) is that the main difficulty, apart from recognising the bits, is not knowing how hard to press, pull, squeeze or rotate.

If you haven’t ever seen inside that bolted-in enclosure, then it’s always a concern that you may be about to strip some expensive threads or deface a highly-priced casing or, worse still, render the whole vehicle immobile by the slip of a screwdriver used as a poorly-positioned lever. This situation is made even more difficult by the grime which covers everything and tends to gum up all moving parts.

Today’s invention then is simply an addition to all repair manuals consisting of a force rating scale. Each task would be labeled, by someone who has actually done it, with a coarse measure of how much effort is required to perform it. This scale might be as crude as a series of enjoinders: “lubricate first with DWF then easy”, “often sealed by corrosion, fiercely hard work”, “no more than two blows with a rubber mallet”, “requires extraction of whole unit first” or “best left to an expert.”

#721: Wearometer

It’s still surprising to me that bubbles can actually do damage to hardened surfaces, by their sudden collapse: a process known as cavitation. I’ve been thinking about ways to use bubbles as an indicator of surface characteristics.

When an object is submerged in liquid and is heated, bubbles will form and grow at microscopic nucleation sites on its surface. In general, the more sites there are, the more bubbles form. Today’s invention exploits this to provide a measure of surface damage.

As a component undergoes wear, the number of nucleation sites will increase. Smallish engineered items, from a doorkey to a drillbit, would be gripped by a pair of copper jaws at a precisely determined location and submerged in a small bath of low boiling-point liquid (eg a domestic refrigerant).

The jaws would then be heated in a controlled way, so the volume of vapour formed from the bubble generation, over a fixed period, can be measured (before condensing the vapour for the next session). This process causes no additional damage, of course, to the material (and might even clean it).

Idea envy

Since everyone else who publishes anything online is currently engaged in a frenzy of ‘Top ten X of 2008’ articles, I thought I might as well join in. Here is a selection of some of the inventions which I’ve come across recently which I really wish I’d thought up.

Many hover on the border between invention and design and none rely on the recent discovery of anything in the least nano-quantum-ribonucleic.

Suntan tattoo Combining two of the silliest ideas into something rather beautiful.

Pin clock
I just like the emergence and there’s a better idea lurking here, which I can’t bring to mind, yet.

Paper bottle Water soaks paper, and yet…

Space mug Can it even be called coffee if it’s translucent?

Bubblewrap calendar Better than squeezing zits.

Secure mug Definitely one for the OCD/retentive types. I’d have made an individually shaped bung for each cup, in order to counter cupjacking. See also this Identifiable cup.

Anti-theft humiliation pen Just the kind of social engineering device which I love.

One-handed watch Confused by two hands on a watchface and burdened by a surfeit of precision? This is a really appropriate design.

Engineering designer who casts flows A satisfying and elegant approach -beats the old Navier Stokes equations any day.

Expandable bookcase All this needs is a motor drive (and I’d personally want the Thunderbirds theme playing as it expands).

Playpump Once again, the power of play comes to the rescue.

Hamster powered shredder
Two gadgets in one with a humorous twist. Pity about the requirement for a hamster.

Bottle stool Not as sure about this one as I was when bookmarking it.

Grown chairs Utterly great, if a little slow in production.

Touch shot I thought I had invented this one myself -until I came across this impressive implementation in a real product.

#720: WorldWideWeather

As a person keen on the variety which weather brings to life, I’m dismayed by the incessant uniformity of the online ‘environment’.

Today’s invention is a way to represent the weather, which an online author is currently experiencing, on his/her website. If the local weather report says it’s snowing near where I live, then browsers everywhere would apply a snow effect to my sites (one of a small repertoire of weather-effect plug-ins). This idea could be extended to affect the author’s desktop too.

With any luck, this would have the effect of uniting sites from regions which, although in different countries, were experiencing similar climatic conditions. It’s a very small planet, after all.

#719: Energynet

Everyone is by now familiar with the idea of using computers’ spare processing capacity to solve the problems associated with folding proteins or detection of extra-terrestrial intelligences.

Today’s invention attempts to make use of a different distributed resource: energy.

Ethernet cable can deliver power to a computer at a rate of about 30 Watts. The lithium-ion battery in a laptop can deliver power to its machine at about half that rate. How about making use of some of the energy stored in the batteries of (wired) networked computers, when not actively being used and reverse the flow of energy?

Each inactive laptop could (just about) power an energy efficient lightbulb, although they would be better used en masse, with the agreement of users, to smooth out sudden, local energy demands. This could lead to more efficient operation of the hard-pressed electrical networks by using that other electrical grid, the internet.