#245: Birdbutts

People, it seems are largely incapable of putting their cigarette butts into the ashtrays or wastebins provided. I often see smokers just throwing their butts on the ground and it drives me nuts. Those things are biodegradable but the process takes forever. While it’s happening the rest of us are supposed to admire the ubiquitous carpet of disgusting cotton filters and then slip around on it a bit.

Since we can’t rely on members of our own species to clean up after themselves, it’s time again to look for help from some other lifeform: in this case, birds.


Today’s invention is to make cigarette filters from the husks of seeds that birds like to eat …eg sunflower seeds. Strictly, these wouldn’t even have to be non-toxic to humans, since, if you are crazy enough to stick all that poison in your body, a little extra won’t matter.

In fact, filters could be made entirely of harmless organic matter, which would not taint the ‘taste’ of the tobacco but which would still be attractive fodder for avian scavengers. Result: increased bird population, decreased butt population.

The effect of nicotine on our flying friends has yet to be assessed.

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