Today’s invention is a set of earphones which periodically require the user to undertake a hearing test.

A range of tones would be played to the wearer and they would record hearing each by tapping on the outer of one earpiece.

This response would be recorded, allowing a personal profile of hearing sensitivity to be created.

This would then be used to modify the earpiece outputs so that hard to hear elements for each ear would be boosted (whilst always keeping the volume below a damaging level for the individual).

Today’s invention is a fork with three or more conical, screwed tangs. These are chain-driven by a motor in the shaft, so that they drill into the earth.

When they are fully embedded, the user leans on the shaft and the soil yields, allowing it to be dug up by more conventional means.

This is a bad way to treat the garment and tends to destroy the waterproffing in the area that is repeatedly knotted.

Today’s invention is therefore a running jacket whose arms have corresponding long strips of velcro on the outside of one and the inside of the other.

This would allow them to be wrapped about my waist, adjustable in a continuous way, and held there firmly, without having to pause in my already slow, barefoot progress.

When one has written using the pen, the fan starts up and directs a stream of air leftwards or rightwards to dry the ink before smudging can occur.

Given the general health benefits of oral hygiene, today’s invention offers a way to combine these two devices.

Each basic mobile phone (with a protuberant aerial) would come supplied with a rounded crocodile clip on the end.

This would be used to secure a natural brush, such as a thistle, burdock or a clump of wool to the end of the antenna.

Engaging the phone’s vibrate mode would create a primitive but effective buzzing, similar to that of electric toothbrushes, and enabling a more effective tooth cleaning regime.

The screensize in general makes watching a film on one wholly different from the big screen experience in a cinema.

Today’s invention is a way to make better mobile movies.

A film is shown to a test audience using eye trackers. This allows determination of where people are looking on the screen.

Small areas centred on these points of interest would then be automatically extracted to form a sequence – a more watchable mobile version of the original product.

The rear wheel axle is held between the solid disks, so that all the chain and gear change mechanism is encapsulated between them.

This reduces greatly the amount of drag associated with spinning wheels and thrashing drive train on a high speed racing bike.

Then there are the dust caps. Working so as to get the job done before the compressor gives out requires a certain deftness. Should the caps all be removed beforehand to speed inflation?

Today’s invention represents an attempt to avoid losing one’s dustcaps (and temper) on the forecourt.

Each cap is made in two sections joined by an integral strap. The cap is rotated as a whole until the top half comes free. This helps wipe the threads clean.

Now the airline is attached, so that at no point must cap be removed from valve.

If for some reason it becomes detached, then the dayglo green colour makes finding it relatively easy.

Today’s invention is to supply meals for fussy eaters in a transparent, modular tray, fitted to and placed upon the surface of an iPad or other tablet.

This machine knows the location and type of food in each modular recess, and can illuminate each from beneath with light of the most appetising colour(s).

Once a section is sensed to have been emptied (ie by the decrease in screen pressure of a moulded bump on the underside)…a small animation could run within that section, saying ‘well done’.

As the cars are moved by a child, the wheel rotation rates result in an appropriate-speed engine noise being generated (which would also mimic the correct engine note for each make of car, as well as gear changing and tyre squealing ).

Cars which collided with each other at a given relative speed would create a realistic crash noise level.

Other noises would include the closing of the toy’s doors…

…and all of this without disturbing neighbouring adults with incessant brrrming noises.