Archive for: December 2011

Today’s invention is a propelling ‘pencil’ of the segmented type, except that each of the little units consists of a biro, fibre tip, rollerball or fountain type nib, together with its own small reservoir of appropriate ink.

All nibs could be of different widths and inks of different colours.

High heels aren’t really made for walking in. They also have a tendency to cause ankle and leg injuries.

Today’s invention is a high-heel shoe which has a slight platform sole and in which a gyroscope with a vertical axis is located.

Every time the shoe is placed on the ground, the gyroscope fires up in order to maintain the sole parallel to the floor. This stabilises the wearer’s ankle, making it much less likely that she will fall over.

Once the shoe is lifted off the floor, the gyroscope is braked, so that normal leg movements are again possible.

This might also keep the wearer’s feet warm, whilst traversing eg a red carpet.

Those learning to drive have a hard time.

Once you can drive, though, it’s easy to swap to a new vehicle. Today’s invention is therefore a specialist car for learners.

Painted in bright yellow, for extra detectability, it has a number of special features.

As well as extra elastic bumpers (1), it has mirrors equipped with cameras which can tell when the learner is looking at them (2). These would ensure that signalling and changing direction only happened after checking behind.

The instructor would have dual controls but would be seated in the rear, so as to allow for better visibility and a greater sense, in the mind of the pupil, of their being in control (3).

Doors would be transparent for improved vision but also to provide an understanding of the vulnerability of car occupancy (4).

Lastly, (5) data from the vehicle’s sytems could be recorded on an onboard computer for later interpretation.

For geeks who are keen on the physics of wine, today’s invention is a possible gift.

A base unit can accommodate any wine bottle, once opened.

A semicircular cam moves laterally backwards and forwards along the base, changing the angle of the bottle from moment to moment.

This it does in order to maximise the surface area of liquid, so as to let it ‘breathe’ effectively, but without spilling any wine.

This is a complex optimisation problem, given the internal geometry of bottles, which is probably best solved by iteration.

Each time wine is drunk from the bottle and it is replaced on the base, the bottle would find a new angle, but stilll not splash any on the table.

I was thinking how little security is on display in British railway stations. Doors are left open and all sorts of people mill about the platforms.

What if some crazy were to hijack a train and crash it into the buffers in a main station? 40 tonnes at 120 MPH would be a disaster, if it couldn’t be diverted into a siding in time.

Today’s invention is a massive railway car which, in such an emergency, could be dropped onto the tracks using a purpose-built mobile crane outside a mainline station.

As a runaway train approached, the car would motor towards it and make gentle contact at matching speed. It would fire up a rocket motor, to retard the train and then apply its brakes so as to prohibit entry to any station.

A combination of these forces, under software control, would halt the train, without causing impact injuries to its occupants.

If you want to stop someone copying your electromechanical product -and selling it as their own, you could try obtaining a patent in that someone’s country. If you don’t have the cash, consider today’s invention.

Sensors within the machine’s casing would detect any attempt to open internal enclosures that weren’t required for normal maintenance/access. These could be wired to a hidden mobile phone which would alert you as manufacturer.

Rather than generating a ‘cease and desist’ letter, however, these sensors would automatically release a fast-curing epoxy cement within the enclosures.

One component of the resin would be impregnated with metal fibres, so that the device would short itself out before being encased like a fly in amber.

This tactic is reasonably cheap, poses no danger to anyone, but results in a collection of nonfunctioning bricks which is no longer cost effective to reverse-engineer.

Personally, in advance of any of this, I like the idea of having the phone say “This device will self destruct in five seconds…”

I read an article about ‘whimsical’ texting icons which are now available on the iPhone to help express a greater range of emotions than the normal smileys.

I think these emoji are graphically ghastly. I can’t imagine Jobs letting Apple use them.

Today’s invention is therefore an emoticon upgrade.

Messages of up to 140 characters would have an emotional tone specified (the one in the image is ‘surprised’). This might be automatically extracted from the text itself.

This emotion is used to select an appropriate layout for the words themselves (so that ‘surprise’ will cause some of the words to be arranged in such a way as to indicate raised eyebrows.

I walked past a lorry the other day shredding papers from an office building. The whole thing was covered in ‘confidential shredding’ notices and yet anyone could have walked off with a wheelie bin full of secrets.

Today’s invention is a way to ensure that if you are daft enough to commit anything private to paper, it will stay private.

It is a novel shredder fitted with a seats and a set of bicycle pedals.

A small amount of non-secret paper is inserted in the slot and the pedals are used to shred it initially into the collection box (which is sealed, apart from a small air inlet and a chimney which protrudes through an open window).

The cranking also causes a lighter flint to spray sparks on the paper, igniting it.

A small steam engine boiler is located within the system, above the burning paper. Once heated, this helps to drive the pedal crank, making the job of shredding less arduous.

In this way, the secret papers are rendered completely unreadable, there is no costly, street level lorry and office staff get some exercise.

In search of ever faster bicycles, today’s invention is a new front wheel unit, without all the usual drag-inducing whirling spokes (and no significant weight increase).

Instead, the front wheel is a plain steel circle which has a smooth interior surface.

A single, aerodynamically-profiled fork blade carries two sets of small rollers.

The top set can be slid down the fork so that the rollers can engage with the inside of the wheel. The top set is then moved back upwards and locked in place, so that the wheel can spin, whilst staying in contact with all the rollers.

Corporations place great emphasis on having iconic buildings.

Today’s invention is a tower which, when built beside a body of water, looks like a rippled reflection in a pool.

This effect would be extended to other buildings and street furniture, so that the actual reflections would mirror those simulated by the buildings themselves.